Just Like Old Friends (alternatively named How Unten Got His Last Name) is a OVA series that takes place after the events of Fantendo Smash Bros. Victory and takes place during the six month time gap between Fantendo Smash Bros. Victory and Fantendo - Zenith. The story was written by Helena Harper (t∣b∣c) and is the debut of Kiva Glaive and Fenrir of the Flame. Additionally, as it's alternate title suggests, it is how Unten got his last name, which will be revealed in this story.
When a mysterious alien craft crashes in Seattle, Unten has to confront some of his Zeon past and assist them in taking down a new villain by the name of Fenrir of the Flame, a business man who has no qualms about funding the evil organization called The Doomuli. Meanwhile, Obena and Nycho come up with a new business prospect when they discover Obena's mining laser can phase through concrete.
When a mysterious alien spaceship containing Kiva Glaive and some of her crew arrives on Earth, Unten finds himself having to confront another part of his past while forging a name for himself in the present. Obena and Nycho come up with a new business scheme with her ship's mining laser. A new bad guy, who funds The Doomuli, has to be stopped.
Episode 1: Just Like Ghostbusters
Nycho is standing outside of a darkened firehouse with Unten, Rachel. Obena, and Strafe. Unten glances at the group nervously.
- Unten: Nycho… why did you bring us to a firehouse at 5 in the morning?
Nycho: We've been lacking a good place to organize, you know? So, I took it upon myself to purchase a place for the Fantendo Smash Bros. to congregate...
- Unten: We're not… we're not called that.
- Rachel: We're not using that name.
- Strafe: Why do you keep insisting we use that name?
- Nycho: Shut up! It's good.
- Obena: Grammatically, it doesn't really make much sense, although it does ring well to my ears…
- Unten: What the hell are you talking about? Fantendo Smash Bros. sounds like a jumbled mess.
- Nycho: Well, what do you want to call this group then?
- Unten: We're not a group! Groups lead to bad things. Come on, haven't you seen how that Misfits team has deteriorated?
- Nycho: It gets very hard to list this on a resume if we don't name our team.
- Rachel: So, let me guess, you bought the firehouse for us to hang out out, then?
- Nycho: That's correct.
- Strafe: That's how you're gonna sneak yourself on this team, huh?
- Nycho: I thought I was already part of the team.
- Unten: Ughh…
Nycho goes to open the door, shrugging as he unlocks the door and turns on the lights.
- Rachel: This is temporary for the time being, let's just put it at that.
- Nycho: I mean, it's a six month lease.
- Rachel: That being said… this super reminds me of the Ghostbusters and I always wanted to be a Ghostbuster…
- Strafe: The hell is a Ghostbuster?
- Obena: It's okay, I'm mystified too. Sounds like something involving ghosts… and busting, whatever that is.
- Unten: It's not half bad. Certainly better than the car you drove us around to get to Chelsea's farm.
- Nycho: That's just how the building came. I got some DIY projects I'm already thinking about… tiger print walls…
- Strafe: Mhm. I'll be looking for a space to claim as my spot, away from his madness.
- Unten: Yeah… I think I'll do that too.
- Rachel: Shame that Sakeena is out of town… I don't know if she'll even have a spot.
- Nycho: The building is like, two stories. We'll be fine. We can fit all kinds of people in here.
- Obena: Speaking of which, maybe we should get more people to join. I was thinking of a couple candidates, like Silver Zin…
- Unten: Who?
- Obena: The black haired boy from the Lifts, with the darkness based powers… I think he would be a great counter with Strafe…
Strafe glares at her.
- Unten: We don't really know him so… uh, pass I guess.
- Rachel: Aren't all those Lifts people busy with their own shit?
- Nycho: We should probably go in there and help, considering they helped with us.
- Rachel: ...nah. I mean, come on, we just finished off The Threat, can't we get a break too?
- Unten: Good point. We shouldn't be adding anyone into the mix for the sake of it, you know?
- Obena: Well, if we are going to set up a proper team I think establishing a more solid roster would be a wise idea…
- Unten: Obena, you should really just chill out for now. We can do that later. It's five in the morning. Let's set up here so we can make this almost like a secondary home and then we can talk about adding people. There's nothing pressing going on at all, we hardly need to concern ourselves.
An alarm sounds as a female bat creature jolts awake. She has blood rushing down her head as she glances at the computer module.
- Female Bat Creature: Ainumego! What does it say?
A frog like creature in a dress shirt and skirt gets up, groaning as it looks at the computer module with it's cracked glasses. This is Ainumego.
- Ainumego: Kiva… this says we've got no shields, no propulsion, nothing is online except the very ample backup generator. Very bad. But… I mean, that's literally what it says on the screen, you don't have to be tech literate to read i-
The female bat creature, evidently Kiva, glances at him.
- Kiva:So… we're going to die then.
- Ainumego: Well, actually no, the blast actually propelled us to a habitable planet that we're now speeding through considering we broke through the orbit.
- Kiva: That's good.
- Ainumego: Only problem is that the generator doesn't have any power to slow the fall.
- Kiva: That's bad.
- Ainumego: Yeah. Okay, so you are following me then.
- Kiva: Yes.
- Ainumego: Who else is in the pod with us?
- Kiva: Just Kurafeza.
- Ainumego: Ah shit, she's heavy, isn't she? If we gotta carry her out…
A large woman gets up from the floor, groaning as she gets up.
- Kiva: Oh thank god Kurafeza! You're okay!
- Kurafeza: I ain't gonna be for long if we don't get out of this pod.
- Kiva: Oh… so we don't need to catch you up then.
- Kurafeza: Quit wasting time and find the parachutes!
- Kiva: Right, right.
- Kurafeza: Jeez.
Kiva gives two parachutes to Ainumega and Kurafeza, kicking open the door and getting sucked out.
- Ainumego: Kiva!!
Kiva glides into view.
- Kiva: I'm fine. I can fly, remember? Now, though, would be a really good time to jump.
Kurafeza jumps out and after some hesitation, Ainumego jumps out too. The three glide peacefully down as the pod slams into the earth, into a Seattle park. The three land, glancing at the pod.
- Ainumego: Well, that's busted up.
- Kiva: We should probably find a way off as soon as possible to report back with the rebellion and to get back into the fight.
- Kurafeza: Always admired your warrior's spirit, Kiva. Let's go!
Unten sits at a wooden table with a laptop, filling out a form. He pauses for a bit as Rachel walks over.
- Rachel: You alright?
- Unten: Yeah… I just want to find out my Dragon Ball Z fighter name and I don't… have a last name for it to work.
- Rachel: Wait, you don't have a last name?
- Strafe: I mean, some of us just don't have last names.
- Rachel: Strafe, I know your last name is Lockborn.
- Strafe: No… no it's not. I don't like it.
- Rachel: Maybe you can just do it like Strafe, where your name is after your father.
- Unten: I don't know my father at all.
- Rachel: What about your mom?
- Unten: No…
- Rachel: What about Chief Dongorio? You could name yourself Unten Dongorio, after him.
The two hear Nycho snort in the background.
- Unten: Yeah… I don't think that's a good idea.
- Nycho: Sorry, just… dong.
- Unten: Yeah, no, I get the unfortunate implications of that name on Earth.
- Rachel: Well, shit, you just wanna borrow someone's last name?
- Unten: I mean, it wouldn't really be me then, would it?
- Strafe: What about Unten Bear?
- Unten: That's offensive to my sensibilities.
- Rachel: Man, Leah left a hell of a mental scar on you, huh?
- Unten: Whatever, it's fine. It's a dumb quiz. I'm sure the answer doesn't really reflect my last name at all. I'll just type in a bunch of random nonsense…
Unten mashes at the keyboard and hits enter.
- Rachel: You gotta use the mouse to hit submit.
- Unten: Oh right, thanks.
Unten uses the mouse to hit submit.
- Unten: Kid Buu??? Nope!
- Strafe: Yo, Vicky got the scoop on something I think you all might want to see…
Unten, Obena, Rachel, and Nycho all rush over to Strafe's CRT tv to watch the news.
- Vicky Victorious: A mysterious alien pod has landed here in Seattle- likely the further work of the one called "Unten", who has come to drain our planet of it's resources now that he has taken out all of the gods that would stop him…
- Unten: Ugh, turn this off.
- Vicky Victorious: I have learned that three aliens, one human-looking, another looking like a frog, and a third looking like a red-haired bat were seen jumping out before it crashed according to eye-witness reports- unsure if any of these are connected to Unten, but stay tuned!
- Unten: Red haired bat…?
- Rachel: Oh… do you recognize them?
- Unten: ...this is a huge stretch at the moment, but… I think I might know the bat.
- Rachel: From where? I thought we knew all your Zeon friends.
- Unten: She was on Zeon, but not for long. Uh… we were dating for a bit, I guess.
- Strafe: Damn, if Leah was here, she'd be so shocked.
- Unten: Well, you don't gotta be like that now that she's gone.
- Obena: We should probably locate them. There's no knowing what they could probably pose to us or the city.
- Unten: ...both of us crashed in space ships here.
- Obena: Well, you can't make too sure!
- Unten: I think it's probably better I try and handle this with a couple of the other Zeon people. You and Nycho can keep watch here, okay?
- Obena: I don't get why I gotta stay here.
- Unten: I mean, someone has to. It's not a smart idea to bring the entire group and not prepare any back up.
- Obena: True… besides, I still gotta sort out all of the stuff I was allowed to take from my ship from F.A.N.T anyway.
- Unten: Yeah, you do that. We'll sort out this pod thing!
Unten, Strafe, and Rachel leave the building as Obena pulls out a couple of milk crates with her stuff still in it. Nycho looks over.
- Nycho: So… any interesting stuff?
- Obena: Nah… just the standard mining laser, rotary shield, pretty much anything still intact from the machine spectrum that wasn't interesting to F.A.N.T.
- Nycho: Ah.
Obena puts away the mining laser only to accidently set it off, blasting a small hole in the wall. Nycho looks at it, peering through.
- Nycho: Yo… this can cut through concrete!
- Obena: I mean, it was designed to cut through rock…
- Nycho: You know what that means?
- Obena: No…
- Nycho: We can leave marks on the sidewalks after they're already dry! Give me that!
Obena hands him over the laser.
- Nycho: Let's go mark the sidewalks up so they know who owns this space!
- Obena: Yeah!
Episode 2: Just Like A Old Married Couple
A black Sparkling is seen at a casino with Doomulus Thai and Doomulus Rise. A Krexxon woman stands close to him, with a white and gold mask over her face.
- Doomulus Thai: Fenrir, Doomulus Prime requests your presence.
The black sparkling, evidently Fenrir, looks to Doomulus Thai.
- Fenrir: Well, put that old fart on the phone then!
- Doomulus Rise: I got this!
Doomulus Rise presses a button on the telecaster as Doomulus Thai rolls her eyes. Doomulus Prime appears on the screen in front of Fenrir.
- Doomulus Prime: Ah, Fenrir. Nice to see you. Have you been enjoying your company with my two guards this evening?
- Doomulus Rise: You better say yes…
- Fenrir: Yeah, they're fine.
- Doomulus Prime: I hope we keep you satisfied then. Were our forces enough to take out Kiva Glaive's rebellion?
- Fenrir: Nah, a lot of them got away. I think we did get Kiva herself, though.
- Doomulus Prime: Excellent, surely that should show our immense power-
Another caller interrupts the stream. It's a Krexxon.
- Fenrir: Oh hang on, getting another call. Krexxon. Gotta take it.
Fenrir switches over to another call, with the Krexxon appearing on the telecaster.
- Fenrir: Yo, Podenba! What's going on?
- Podenba: Uh… I don't think Kiva actually died. We've been getting reports of her being on Earth.
- Fenrir: The hell is a "Earth"?
- Podenba: It's from the Milky Way galaxy… uh… Unten's here I think? That dude that brought down those two gods on his own?
- Fenrir: Huh. Interesting. So she's still alive then?
Doomulus Thai and Doomulus Rise glance at each other nervously.
- Fenrir: Put me back on the line with Doomulus Prime, will ya?
- Doomulus Rise: Yes… sir…
Doomulus Rise switches back to Doomulus Prime's broadcast.
- Fenrir: So, I just got word that your team didn't actually kill Kiva.
- Doomulus Prime: Oh?
- Fenrir: And that she's now on Earth, exactly where that Unten guy is at. The one that took down gods.
- Doomulus Prime: That was intentional- we directed the hit so that Unten would take care of her should the hit fail to kill her.
- Fenrir: That seems like it's not really your power then.
- Doomulus Prime: I assure you, such a hit would have to be incredibly calculated and precise… only a cunning master strategist could pull something off like that.
- Fenrir: I prefer someone that can finish the job themselves... I think I will have to cut off my funding if you think this is a excellent strategy.
- Doomulus Prime: I think you should reconsider.
- Fenrir: I think I could do a better job of taking care of her myself. In fact… I think that's what I will have to do.
Fenrir turns off the telecaster.
- Fenrir: Relena, come on. Let's go. We won't be needing these useless hacks of metal.
The female Kraxxon nods and departs with Fenrir. Doomulus Rise and Doomulus Thai glance at Fenrir
- Doomulus Rise: How are we going to get off…?
- Fenrir: Oh, that's not my problem. Don't worry, it seems like you're very good at making things that you should do someone else's problem.
Fenrir and Relena leave as Doomulus Thai opens up her own telecaster.
- Doomulus Thai: Did… you really mean for them to crash into Seattle?
- Doomulus Prime: Oh, absolutely not. I was totally bluffing.
- Doomulus Thai: Well, your bluff just put our biggest supplier at a risk.
- Doomulus Prime: And now it's your job to get him back.
Doomulus Thai growls.
- Doomulus Thai: Come on Rise, we gotta fix this.
Rise nods as Thai shuts off her telecaster.
Unten bangs on the door of Zerita's apartment. Zerita opens it, with shaggy hair.
- Unten: We're gonna check out a crash, you in?
- Zerita: Suppose there's nothing better to do this morning…
Zerita grabs her cybernetic arm from the couch and clicks it in.
- Unten: Woah, what's up with that design?
- Zerita: Chelsea Rench made it for me. It's hot a nice feel to it, but it's not my old arm, that's for sure.
- Unten: Where's Netnu? We tried ringing on his door but he didn't answer.
- Zerita: Probably on a mission with the Seer. You know he's into that mystic shit now, right? And how come you went to him first?
- Unten: His apartment was closer…
- Zerita: I see.
- Unten: I swear, that's all there is to it!
- Zerita: Mhm. Hey are any of you in the back going to speak up?
- Rachel: I mean, you guys are Unten's friends, I just figured it wasn't really something I should do-
- Zerita: Come on, we're more than that. It's almost like we stopped a alien goddess together or something…
- Strafe: I'm too tired to really speak.
- Zerita: Right. Suppose we should talk to Mioda now…
Mioda bursts out of her apartment with hunting gear wrapped around her.
- Mioda: I've been getting ready ever since they knocked on Netnu's door.
- Zerita: Right, I forgot you're a light sleeper and a eager early bird.
- Mioda: So where's the crash?
- Strafe: In a park somewhere. Rachel has the direction on her phone and if that fails, I got some printed papers from MapQuest.
- Zerita: Sheesh. Maybe it has been a while since I've been in action, you all seem so prepared.
- Unten: Where did Sia go?
- Zerita: Ah… she went into the Colorado area. Something about meeting someone. She was very hush hush about it.
- Unten: Right… I guess that accounts for just about everyone, then.
- Mioda: Then let's go!
Kiva, Kurafeza, and Ainumego walk towards the pod.
- Kiva: Yep, that's smashed to bits.
- Ainumego: Thankfully backed up most of the stuff on the computer system- it's on this flash drive.
- Kurafeza: We don't have time for that- those Krexxons are likely going to chase us here, and I don't think that's a good idea.
- Kiva: Well, how do we get off from here?
- Ainumego: I wouldn't know- I'm tech-savvy but not a rocket scientist.
- Kiva: Hrm.
- Kurafeza: Hang on a minute… is that…?
Kiva looks in front of her, seeing Unten's ensemble.
- Kiva: That's… Zerita, Mioda, and Unten. Interesting.
- Kurafeza: How did they track us here?
- Kiva: I dunno…
Unten freezes for a moment before slowly resuming his steps.
- Rachel: What's with the cold feet?
- Unten: Nothing… I was right in that I knew the bat.
- Mioda: And I know that woman over there.
- Strafe: Should we attack? What are we doing here?
- Kiva: Unten… long time no see.
- Kiva: What are you all doing on a planet with such awful breathing air?
- Unten: Well… I landed here.
- Zerita: And we tagged along, me and Mioda. Netnu and Sia are also here, but they're busy.
- Unten: So what have you been up to…?
- Kiva: Fighting the Doomuli… which has not been going great. We've been trying to bam one of their funders but… well, that's not going well.
- Ainumego: They're incredibly strong and they're not even using Doomuli- they've been using a species from a far away system known as the Krexxon.
- Unten: What's so scary about them?
- Kurafeza: They're strong and versatile. They can form fists or tentacles with their arms in a instant and they are well protected with armor.
- Strafe: Sounds like Krystal would really like these guys.
- Rachel: I wonder how she's doing…
- Kurafeza: One of them, Relena… is well, relentless. She is incredibly fast and dangerous and acts as Fenrir's bodyguard. Nobody can get a hold on her at all.
- Unten: Fenrir?
- Ainumego: The funder guy. Dude is mad stacked, but he's not much of a fighter.
- Unten: So… how do you expect to cut him off from the Doomuli…?
- Kiva: I was just thinking we would hurt him real bad and make him stop…
- Ainumego: She's not one for clever plans.
- Unten: And you all have been going with that…?
- Kurafeza: Oh, I have a plan of my own.
- Ainumego: Mine as well.
- Unten: This is insane- how do you not have any kind of unifying idea for a plan?
- Kiva: Oh! That's right, you were pretending to be some kind of great leader when I knew you, didn't you?
- Unten: I'm not pretending- and I'm still in the leadership role.
- Kiva: Hm. I don't care what that procephy said- you failed to stop Doomulus Grime and I had to fix your damn mess. You destroyed Zeon.
- Unten: Can we not bring that up-
- Kiva: Because it proves you shouldn't be a leader?
- Rachel: What's up with these two, huh?
Strafe glances at the rising sun.
- Strafe: I dunno, but they're bickering like a old married couple.
- Kiva: Phh! As if we would ever. We did have a relationship though.
- Strafe: Yeah… that bombshell was dropped on us about a hour ago. Still trying to process that.
- Unten: Shut…
- Kiva: I'm getting the impression that Unten hasn't met anyone since me, huh?
- Unten: It's been… uh…. really hard, okay?
- Kiva: Ha! Knew it.
- Unten: What about you?
- Kiva: He's not around here, he's part of the grander resistance. Not that you need to know any more than that.
Kurafeza rolls her eyes.
- Unten: ...well, okay then.
- Kiva: So who's doing better now?
- Rachel: I mean, he literally helped defeat The Threat, who was the biggest threat in the universe up until two months ago.
- Unten: I'm not proud of the way I did it.
- Kiva: There's the sadsack I know. Well, while you're here, do you want to help us get back into space?
- Rachel: Yeah, we can assist you with that. Right, Unten?
- Unten: Mhm. Let's grab a car and head over to the farm.
Obena and Nycho walk down the sidewalk, drawing pictures on the side with the mining laser.
- Obena: This is actually really fun! I like doodling! I just wish there was a more convenient way to do it… hey, what are you eating?
Nycho slurps up some of the soup he's eating.
- Nycho: This? It's just Squid Chowder from the Lifts. A Woodinn classic… definitely see the culinary power behind this other dimension.
- Obena: Woah, the soup is red like blood…
- Nycho: Want a taste?
- Obena: Yeah!
Obena jumps up, clenching her fists as she grabs the spoon to taste some of the soup.
- Obena: Ohh wow, that's good.
- Nycho: Heh, now you understand why I spend so much on food. Doesn't matter what I'm doing… as long as I have good food still lingering on my tongue, I'm good…
- Obena: Oh hey, Sakeena is coming!
- Nycho: This soup is just for you and me, don't offer any to her.
- Obena: Got it!
- Sakeena: Oh hey, you two! Sorry for being so late.
- Nycho: Weren't you out of town?
- Sakeena: I'm not any more! We uh… ended the trip early because of termites from the Lifts. They have wildlife worse than Australia, haha.
- Nycho: Interesting… the strengthened relationship between the Lifts and us have both benefits and drawbacks.
- Sakeena: ...I mean, I went to the Lifts. Do… you guys not know where I went or with who…?
- Nycho: I'm just eating my chowder. Which is pretty close to empyting, so I'm afraid you can't have any.
- Sakeena: That's fine, I'm full anyway. The bonquet before I left was great…
- Nycho: I just said you can't have any!
- Sakeena: You just hear what you want to hear, huh… Obena, what are all these drawings on the sidewalk?
- Obena: Ah… that's uh… my doodles. Me and Nycho realized we could draw across the concrete with the mining laser off my ship.
- Sakeena: Interesting… could I have a go at it?
- Obena: Go for it, cutie!
Sakeena blushes as she starts to draw a magnet.
- Sakeena: Oh wow, this is really smooth and nice… I like this a lot! Imagine what kind of street artists could use it…
- Nycho: I keep saying this is a good business opportunity, we really should get someone to work on making more and mass-producing them.
- Sakeena: I think Chelsea Rench is back in town… you want to go see her?
- Nycho: Yeah, I think I know where she is. Obena, you want to come with?
- Obena: Yeah! Let's go!
Unten glances out the car window. Rachel, Strafe, and Zertia are the only other two in the Uber; the newcomers and Mioda have taken a second one.
- Rachel: Seems like Zeon's still a sore spot, huh?
- Unten: I thought I moved past it, but everytime something from there comes back… I keep encountering someone that shakes me to my very core.
- Rachel: Well… you're not alone, you know that?
- Unten: I… just don't know. I think I'm a good leader but I'm never happy with the actions I do… I always seem to either put people below me or chase them out. She wasn't a exception. Our relationship was… short.
- Rachel: Well, you've kept me, Strafe, and Sakeena for like, five years now, so you must be doing better in that respect, at least.
- Unten: I mean, Sakeena barely seems to be around either… and you two are hanging around just because you both don't have anything better to do.
- Strafe: I mean, he's got us there.
- Rachel: Oh, hush.
- Uber Driver: Uh… hrm.
- Unten: ...what?
- Uber Driver: Do you mind if I just go get some gas real quick? I kind of forgot to fill and I don't know if we'll make it without doing it.
- Unten: Yeah, do it. Doesn't matter who gets there first.
Kiva, Mioda, Ainumego, and Kurafeza are in another Uber car, talking.
- Kiva: Mioda! It's been a long time since you and me and Kurafeza have seen each other, huh?
- Mioda: Hah, yeah…
- Kurafeza: I see you've gotten new duds too.
- Mioda: It's cozy for the winter weather… I can't imagine going out in that in this weather.
- Kurafeza: Oh, so this planet has weather then. Thought it was going to be a single climate planet… with lots of rain.
- Kiva: Figures Unten would pick a spot with a bunch of rain. It's like he purposely gets himself depressed.
- Mioda: Aw come on, he's not like that at all… I don't think. It's been kind of hard with what happened.
- Kiva: I was the one dating him!
- Kurafeza: I guess she has a point.
- Kiva: My biggest question is why you didn't join us to take on the Doomuli.
- Mioda: We still had Doomulus Grime to deal with. Kurafeza barely had the courtesy to tell me that you two were leaving anyway. We took a wrong bet and the planet blew up; which isn't what Doomuli are supposed to be doing anyway. Grime was just crazy.
- Kiva: Where is Grime anyway?
- Mioda: Zerita told me Unten knew… but she was displeased about it.
- Kiva: What does that mean?
- Mioda: Beats me if I know…
The car pulls up to the Bluecarrot Farm. A robot that looks similar to Cura, but not quite, flies to them, dropping to the ground.
- Robot: Moo.
- Kiva: Oh hi!
- Robot: Name's Besi. Welcome to Bluecarrot Ranch!
Besi poses her hands in a heart shape as Chelsea runs outside.
- Chelsea: Oh my, I wasn't expecting guests! Come on in!
Kiva, Kurafeza, Ainumego, and Mioda walk with Chelsea. A strange car with birdcages attached to the front pulls in as the episode ends.
Episode 3: Just Like Doomulus Grime
Unten, Rachel, Zerita, and Strafe are waiting in the car at the gas station as the Uber driver fills up the car with gas.
- Strafe: Ya'll mind if I just grab a snack from the gas station?
- Rachel: Hurry…. if he finishes pumping that gas before you get back, you're probably getting left.
- Strafe: Gotcha.
- Rachel: Ughhh…
- Unten: What's up?
- Rachel: I dunno… I don't really feel like my relationship is working.
- Unten: How did you end up in so many relationships? I just had the one and…
- Rachel: I dunno… I guess I was more open to it early on but I don't want to experience the bad stuff about it anymore… I guess it's telling I haven't told anyone aside from you about our relationship even…
- Zerita: Yo, I'm still here.
- Rachel: You don't know who I'm dating.
- Zerita: True.
- Unten: I mean… it'd be nice to go out with someone… I guess I haven't been very lucky on that front.
- Rachel: It's weird… this whole time I thought Zerita was a girlfriend you had on Zeon, and turns out to be someone you never even brought up once.
- Unten: Me and Zerita? No… we're just friends.
- Zerita: Yeah… come on. It'd… be kind of strange, no?
- Rachel: I guess I don't really know that much about you, Zerita.
- Zerita: It's funny… the first time I saw you I thought you were Unten's new girlfriend.
- Rachel: Oh no, haha!
Unten moves back in his seat, slouching.
- Rachel: Yeah… no, we're not like that at all.
Strafe opens up the door with a bag of Chain-Link Donuts.
- Strafe: Back!
- Rachel: Good god, you went with Chain-Link Donuts?
- Strafe: I thought we could share.
- Rachel: Those are a bit much… besides, don't they have blood on them or something?
- Strafe: You're thinking about Hisplit donuts. These are Earth-friendly.
- Rachel: How are we supposed to eat it anyway? Car's too small to even attempt it.
- Strafe: We can eat it on the farm.
- Zerita: Unten, all this Doomuli talk is reminding me that we never properly talked about the Grime situation.
- Unten: Yes… I made friends with him. I mean… we haven't really seen each other since the Two planet incident, back when everyone thought I was dead but…
- Zerita: Unten, you realize this dude blew up our planet, right?
- Unten: I think about that constantly! He wasn't supposed to do that!
- Zerita: Uh, damn right he wasn't.
- Unten: No, he wasn't following the Doomuli code. Doomuli aren't supposed to blow up planets, just conquer them.
- Zerita: Mhm. That's actually worse.
- Unten: He helped me get off the planet and stop a rampaging robot, surely you can see some redeeming qualities in that?
- Zerita: For his own self interest.
- Unten: What about blowing up that planet-destroying laser of the Threat's? He did that too…
- Zerita: Yes, but he blew up the planet we lived on.
- Unten: I'm not trying to excuse that.
- Zerita: Sure sounds like it.
Unten sighs as the gas pump clicks and the Uber Driver finishes up filling the car with gas.
- Uber Driver: Alright, sorry that took so long!
- Rachel: Nah, it's alright…
Doomulus Thai and Doomulus Rise are in a spaceship, piloting towards Fenrir's space cruiser.
- Doomulus Thai: We're not here to argue, alright?
- Doomulus Rise: Yeah, I know. Prime stressed that.
- Doomulus Thai: Which is why I should I do the talking.
- Doomulus Rise: Woah… you don't think I can speak to him?
- Doomulus Thai: You sound like a serial killer.
- Doomulus Rise: Oh! I see how it is!
- Doomulus Thai: Don't make this more difficult than it has to be, we already have a lot to deal with.
The ship docks in the cruiser.
- Doomulus Rise: Alright, mam. You do all the talking.
- Doomulus Thai: Thank you, you're too kind.
Doomulus Rise and Doomulus Thai head to Fenrir's throne room, where Fenrir is signing off a form handed to him by Frink.
- Fenrir: There you go.
- Frink: See ya!
Frink takes up the form and gets in his mail truck, which speeds way into a wall that it phases through.
- Fenrir: Weird mailman. Anyway, what do you two steelheads want?
- Doomulus Thai: Prime is asking you to strongly reconsider.
- Fenrir: I'm sure he does. The only thing though, is I have a hard time figuring out what you guys can do that my Krexxon mercenaries can't.
Doomulus Thai looks at Relena.
- Doomulus Thai: Tell you what… you put me 1 v 1 against your best and we'll see who comes up on top.
- Fenrir: How about this… I know Kiva and her other two shitbrain friends are gonna come here. Why don't you two take care of them when they come along with the rest of my Krexxon army and we'll make a little game out of it. Whoever can capture or kill the most wins. If you win, I'll invest back into you again, but if the Krexxon win… well, you're out for good.
- Doomulus Thai: Sound like the best deal we can manage for now.
- Fenrir: Don't disappoint me.
Chelsea Rench puts on a lab coat and walks Kiva, Mioda, Ainumego, and Kurafeza down the farm.
- Chelsea: I haven't seen any of you before… but hey, I recognize Mioda… I think.
- Mioda: Ay, it's me.
- Chelsea: Introduce me to your cute new friends!
- Kiva: I'd love to stay and chat but we really should get going…
- Chelsea: What's the rush?
- Kiva: Trying to take down the Doomuli and they're up in space. Unten said you might have a rocket we could use to get there.
- Chelsea: Ah… yeah, we do, but I'd really like to know you all better before I just let you use it…
Nycho, Sakeena, and Obena walk in.
- Chelsea: Oh! Jeez, lots of guests today.
- Nycho: Yo! Chelbee! Can you hook us up with a fish tank and a car battery?
- Obena: That… is not what we're here for at all.
- Nycho: Oh right, I forgot. What we were here for?
- Obena: The mining laser thing.
- Kurafeza: ...who are these people?
- Sakeena: I'm Sakeen-
- Kiva: How many times do I gotta tell ya'll? We don't have time for this. Chelsea, attention back to me.
Chelsea snaps her attention back to Kiva, before diverting it back to the door as Unten, Rachel, Strafe, and Zerita walk in.
- Unten: Yo, Chel-Z!
- Chelsea: Sup, Un-Ten… yeah, I can't do cool things with your name.
- Unten: That's alright. You got any good last name suggestions? I can't get anything that rings well.
- Chelsea: Hrm… well… you're blue. Unten Blue… that doesn't sound too bad.
- Unten: Mmm… needs a punch more to it…
- Kiva: I'm gonna punch you if you make us stall a moment longer.
- Chelsea: Alright, first off, I'm gonna deal with this rocket thing. Then I'll get to your mining laser thing. That sound good?
- Nycho: Why do they get to go first?
- Chelsea: They were here first.
- Nycho: Guess that makes sense.
- Unten: So yeah, the rocket thing…
- Chelsea: Mhm. Right this way…
Chelsea goes up the iron steps and pulls off a big sheet to reveal a rocket.
- Chelsea: Preferably… don't want this smashed.
- Unten: Gotcha mam.
- Kiva: Oh, this is getting absolutely destroyed. Thanks, though!
- Rachel: Hey… where's Cura?
- Chelsea: Oh, off getting upgraded somewhere. She'll be back sooner or later.
- Strafe: Guess that makes sense. Thanks for letting us borrow this!
The eight get into the rocket as Zerita closes the door, the rocket taking off moments later and exiting out of the atmosphere. Unten hobbles over to the control commands.
- Unten: Well…
- Kiva: You do know how to pilot this, right?
- Unten: Well, yeah… just don't know where to go.
- Kiva: Ainumego, come over here so Unten can tell you how to fly this.
Ainumego goes over.
- Ainumego: Alright, where's the controls?
- Unten: There on the panel… I think Chelsea opted for a trackpad instead of a steering wheel.
- Ainumego: Oh… that's gonna be hell.
- Unten: Call me over if you need help. You know where you're going yeah?
Ainumego looks over to a computer displaying coordinates.
- Ainumego: Yeah…
- Unten: Good.
Unten heads to the riders area.
- Rachel: So… we just get there now.
- Unten: More or less.
- Strafe: Okay… last name suggestion. Neath. Unten Neath.
- Unten: Uh… like "underneath"?
- Strafe: Yeah!
- Unten: Eh…
- Zerita: Unten Holb.
- Unten: No…
Rachel types on her phone.
- Rachel: Unten Raumlau.
- Unten: What are even these names?
- Rachel: They're german inspired. Unten means down.
- Unten: Oh god, does it really?
- Rachel: Could be worse. You could be called "Strafe".
- Strafe: Or "Rachel".
Chelsea walks back to Nycho, Obena, and Sakeena.
- Chelsea: Alright, the mining laser. What are you talking about, exactly?
- Obena: F.A.N.T gave me a bunch of pieces from my ship that they allowed me to have while they disassembled it or whatever it is that they do with it. One of those pieces was this mining laser…
Obena points it to the floor and it melts through the concrete ground.
- Obena: Which phases through concrete.
- Chelsea: Interesting. I think I recognize this kind of mining laser from elsewhere…
Chelsea turns it on and blasts her hand with it, causing the three to scream.
- Nycho: What are you doing, crazy woman!?
- Chelsea: Testing my theory. Yeah, I know exactly what these are! These only detect rocks and steel and burn through them. Anything else gets ignored.
- Sakeena: Just like my original writing. BAM! Zinger!
- Nycho: C'mon, don't be like that.
- Obena: So, it's safe for mass market?
- Chelsea: ...why would you want to mass produce these?
- Sakeena: So we can draw on the sidewalk well after it dries?
- Chelsea: ...well, I can see some of that thought process but mining lasers are meant to be for more than just that….
- Obena: Well, that's what we want to use it for.
- Chelsea: I guess there's a way to make it work, let me get to work…
Chelsea puts on a pair of safety goggles.
- Chelsea: Sit back, watch some TV, it'll be about a hour…
- Nycho: Got you bunny lady!
- Chelsea: Right back at you, cat dude!
- Nycho: I ain't a cat dude.
- Chelsea: ...you sure about that…?
Obena pokes Nycho's cat-like ears.
- Obena: Those aren't like the Kittumans. It's just hair.
- Chelsea: Huh.
Chelsea's rocket continues blasting through space.
- Kurafeza: So, Unten, what have you been up to?
- Unten: Uh… not much, to be honest…
Unten slouches against the window of the rocket in his seat. Zerita looks to Kurafeza.
- Zerita: I think he's neglecting to mention Doomulus Grime.
- Kiva: Did you finally kill that son of bitch?
- Unten: Uh… not quite…
- Kiva: Wha-
- Zerita: No, he befriended him.
- Unten: Can I just explain what happened? He and I were stranded on a planet that a creature known as Two was going to visit and then devour us- we had to get off the planet before that happened and when we got back to Earth, he helped defeat a out-of-control experiment from A22…
- Kiva: YOU HELPED GRIME?
- Unten: He's immensely regretful of his actions.
- Kiva: So am I, about everything I do, every day.
- Kurafeza: Do you know what this axe is called, Unten?
- Unten: ...no…
- Kurafeza: It's called Grimekiller. It's meant specifically for killing Doomulus Grime… but you know what else it'll kill? Anyone that gets in the path of that.
- Mioda: Alright, chill out.
- Unten: Listen, I know it looks like I'm apologizing for his actions but I'm not. He wasn't meant to blow up Zeon- that's against the Doomuli code.
- Zerita: So he's even more dangerous than the Doomuli.
- Unten: Not really considering he isn't actually doing anything except running from them…
Kurafeza taps Unten's shoulder and then grabs onto it.
- Kurafeza: If you are a Doomuli symphasizer, we need to know right now.
- Unten: I'm not! I'm not. Get your hands off me.
Kurafeza backs off.
- Unten: Zerita… you know that I'm not a bad guy, right?
- Zerita: I'm still mad about it though. You had Doomulus Grime right there and you didn't kill him.
- Unten: Killing's… just not in my nature, I guess. I can't kill if I see any good in a soul.
- Zerita: I'm not going to hesitate if I see Grime, then.
- Zerita: Anyway, we got bigger problems. We're about to land at Fenrir's cruiser.
Unten nods and gets ready. He pulls out a orb.
- Kiva: The hell's that?
Unten glances at Kiva.
- Unten: You'll see in a moment.
Nycho, Sakeena, and Obena set up a stand outside the firehouse for their mining lasers.
- Sakeena: Couldn't we just sell them online… as opposed to setting up this popsicle stand?
- Nycho: You want to do everything online. God. Nothing wrong with selling it off the consumer off the street…
Obena nods and looks around the corner, spotting two potential customers in the distance.
- Obena: Ooooo! Someone's coming!
Obena waves as Teun and Hera approach the stand.
- Hera: What are you even selling here?
- Obena: These are… uh, Concrete Cutters! You can draw on the sidewalk with these things as opposed to waiting for them to put down new wet concrete!
- Hera: So… it just cuts straight through concrete huh…
- Obena: Like butter!
Hera looks to Teun.
- Hera: We'll take two!
- Nycho: Alright! That'll be 200 bucks please!
Hera sets down a two wads of dollars, with Nycho meticulously counting up the money and constantly losing track of the numbers in his head, while Obena counts off to the side.
- Obena: Yep, that's 200!
Sakeena begrudgingly hands them the mining lasers and Hera and Teun run off.
- Nycho: You know, you could have waited for me to count the numbers…
- Obena: I'm pretty sure that would have taken at least a hour…
- 'Nycho: Yeah, but then we would have been sure...
Nycho looks to Sakeena.
- Nycho: How about that though? That's two customers in the first fifteen minutes!
- Sakeena: True… I guess we can do the online thing after word spreads.
Episode 4: Just Like Heroes
The ship lands on the giant cruiser, in a area that seems almost like a plaza. Unten, Kiva, and Rachel step out slowly.
- Rachel: It's… so empty.
- Unten: Has to be a trap. You got your Hyper Mode orb?
- Rachel: Yeah…
- Unten: Strafe has his too, right?
- Rachel: Yeah, we don't leave house without them. Especially with the Threat gone and stuff.
- Unten: I got mine, so we should be good…
Unten pulls out Imperium.
- Kiva: Woah… what? What's a Hyper Mode orb…? What's… that?
- Unten: Oh… this is Imperium. It was a blade given to me by The Silent One, a fake Beorn I found in a facility built by the Fan and the Enemy to create more Beorns so they could have a weapon to descend the Threat.
- Kiva: Really? Nothing much, huh.
- Unten: Well, what's that blade huh?
- Kiva: Oh… that's Kayser. It's alive and can serve as a compass by looking in a direction for treasure.
- Unten: Neat.
- Kiva: Yeah, I nicked it off the Queen of Thieves. Neat huh?
- Rachel: God… wish I had stuff cooler than these Gauntlets I've been lugging around for years.
- Unten: I mean you got that Hyper Mode orb.
- Rachel: Yeah… but at the rate we're finding them, everyone will have one… mine's not even good, it just gives me better equipment.
- Unten: We don't mean to make you feel inferior… you fight just as good as everyone else, I promise.
- Rachel: Maybe I can ask Bang to make me some Red Energy gauntlets like hers. That'd be cool, yeah?
- Kiva: What does Imperium actually do?
- Unten: It can stretch, hold objects and people in a pocket dimension, and light up dark areas.
- Kiva: Fuck, you're so cool. This is so unfair.
- Unten: You can fly! I can't do that.
- Kiva: Heh, well, I guess I am pretty great…
- Unten: Mm.. oh hey, uh, a single Krexxon is approaching us.
Relena walks forward towards the three, drawing out a semi-transparent rapier.
- Relena: I suppose you haven't heard about Emid, have you?
- Unten: ...Emid?
- Relena: Practically worshipped back home. Did he go to training camp? Did he rise the ranks of the army? Did he care about any other Krexxon aside from himself? He had no pride for his race, merely himself…
Relena's tentacles squirm angrily.
- Relena: You three remind me of him in almost every way.
- Rachel: I mean… come on, I wouldn't consider myself prideful.
- Relena: AND I'M FUCKING SICK OF IT!!!
Relena raises her sword and suddenly a swarm of semi-transparent swords fly everywhere as Rachel, Unten, and Kiva do their best to dodge or block them.
- Relena: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Relena keeps slinging swords as Unten and Rachel activate their Hyper Mode orbs, blasting orange and blue energy as their bodies and equipment transform. Kiva stares in awe and gets her foot stabbed with a sword.
- Kiva: Ack!
Hyper Form Unten and Hyper Form Rachel dash forward, with Rachel's shield deflecting the sword storm as Hyper Form Unten jumps on Hyper Form Rachel's back, launching into Relena with Bleeding Imperium.
- Relena: Be gone!
Relena slashes Hyper Form Unten into a black pillar, grinning sadistically before suddenly being uppercut with a orange shield from Hyper Form Rachel. Kiva strains to get up.
- Kiva: What am I even doing here… I'm a fucking joke compared to just these two…
- 'Relena slams into the ground as Hyper Form Rachel slams her tire feet into Relena's face, spinning her wheels against her cheek.
- Kiva: They're gonna do all the work and get all the credit…
Hyper Form Unten looks at Kiva, who is straining to get up.
- Hyper Form Unten: What are you doing? Go! We'll take care of Relena!
- Kiva: If I can't even take down a lackey, what possible chance do I have against Fenrir…
Kurafeza rolls down the ship's ramp and slams her axe into the ground.
- Kurafeza: Kiva, Fenrir is so much weaker than Relena, remember? Go!
Kiva picks herself up, gritting her teeth for a moment before flying forward before suddenly Doomulus Rise and Doomulus Thai jump down to block her path.
- Doomulus Thai: Is that… Unten?
- Doomulus Rise: Looks like a fucked up Unten.
- Doomulus Thai: Huh…
Kiva attempts to slash at Doomulus Rise with her sword but Doomus Rise just catches it with his fingers.
- Doomulus Rise: I say we split this Vesperian open and I'll get her blood to power my Red Energy attacks and then we slaughter fucking everyone, including that damn Kraxxon girl.
- Doomulus Thai: Mm… that'd be pathetically easy though…
Kiva struggles to get her sword out from Rise's hand as Doomulus Thai delivers a kick to her back that sends her crumpling to the ground. Kurafeza charges towards them.
- Doomulus Rise: I want to kill that Unten kid for letting Grime slip through our fingers like that!
- Doomulus Thai: Hmmm… I can agree with that sentiment slightly…
Doomulus Rise drops Kiva's sword and takes off running on all fours as Kurafeza swings her axe at his head. His left eye comes clean off, causing him to scream and panic.
- Doomulus Rise: What the hell?!
- Kurafeza: Heated axe blade. The friction of my swings lets me melt your metallic skin right off with the strokes-
Unbeknownst to her, Rise has planted two of his fingers under her and suddenly flips her up into the air, blasting red energy into her as she flies into the air, causing her to crash into a black pillar.
- Doomulus Rise: Unten!!!
Hyper Form Unten glances at Doomulus Rise, who begins to charge Red Energy in his palms. Suddenly, a blast of light attacks him. Hyper Form Strafe swirls his blade around.
- Hyper Form Strafe: Unten, hurry up and get Kiva to that throne room! We'll hold off the Krexxon chick and the Doomuli!
Hyper Form Unten delivers a thumbs up and uses Bleeding Imperium as a vault, jumping over Doomulus Thai and Relena and grabbing Kiva as they enter inside the cruiser ship. Zerita and Mioda enter onto the battlefield as well. Zerita and Mioda look at each other.
- Zerita: Let's do this, sister.
Mioda delivers a thumbs up as she loads three light arrows into her bow.
- Mioda: Right back at you, sister!
Nycho taps at the stand as Obena counts the money.
- Obena: We made a good… 1200 bucks today. It's a shame we ran out of them so quickly… we should have really gotten Chelsea to make more…
- Nycho: Ah… I'm sure it's fine. We can pay her to make more with the money we just got!
- Sakeena: I'm sure she'd like that. Well… we had a pretty productive day, all things considered. I should unpack at my apartment. You guys mentioned a firehouse that we can hang out at?
- Nycho: Yeah. The Fantendo Smash Bros!
- Sakeena: Didn't everyone tell you that's not we're calling the team?
- Nycho: Might as well considering we don't actually have a team name.
Sakeena waves off. Obena holds the money in her hand.
- Obena: I like the feel of it… what did you call this?
- Nycho: Fat stacks.
- Obena: Fat stacks…
Obena cooes as she runs her finger through the money.
- Obena: Faaat stacks…
- Nycho: Alright, let's get back to the firehouse.
Hyper Form Unten and Kiva encounter some Krexxon inside the chamber of the cruiser ship. Hyper Form Unten blasts them away with Hyper Energy enhanced lightning, frying them into unconsciousness. Kiva pushes Hyper Form Unten away.
- Kiva: You go on ahead.
- Hyper Form Unten: Wasn't the point of this whole mission to get you to Fenrir?
- Kiva: ME? You've seen me fight, I can't even graze a Doomuli. I'm uncoordinated in both fighting and leadership, it's how we even landed on Earth in the first place. I don't want to weigh you down… just like before.
- Hyper Form Unten: What are you talking about, before what?
- Kiva: On Zeon. I just kept getting in the way of defeating Doomulus Grime- that's why I left and was looking to stop the greater Doomuli. It made sense… if I wasn't so weak. Look at you.
Hyper Form Unten looks at himself and sighs.
- Hyper Form Unten: I think I get it… I was the weakest too… still kind of am. This Hyper Form equalizes the playing field for me, this sword does too… but without those I'm not really anything special. Limited electrical powers and descension… really handy when we're fighting a powerful businessman, right?
- Kiva: At least you HAVE that. I got a pair of wings and a sword I'm nowhere near good with…
Hyper Form Unten depowers by removing the Hyper Mode orb, glancing at Kiva as Unten.
- Unten: It took four years of failing to get where I am now, and with a bunch of shortcuts. I failed a lot… I destroyed Zeon, I destroyed the god hierarchy as we know it, one of the last remaining Beorns from Zeon on accident… nothing has gone the way I wanted it to. I'm sure you feel that same way.
- Kiva: Mm.
- Unten: Let's do this Fenrir thing together. If we don't win, that's just another thing to learn from and improve from.
Kiva wipes her eyes and looks at Unten.
- Kiva: Alright.
Nycho turns on the tv, still set to Channel 17. Vicky Victorious is standing in front of a bank.
- Vicky Victorious: Earlier today, eyewitness reports mentioned spotting a large woman and a black Beorn, likely related to the scoundrel known as Unten...
- Nycho: Oh hey… didn't we… uh, sell stuff to them earlier Obena?
Obena is in the kitchen, drinking a glass of water.
- Obena: M-maybe? Uh…
- Vicky Victorious: Witnesses said they were spotted with some sort of laser, which was used to cut across the concrete of the vault door, cutting it out and entering the vault to steal the cash. Of course, my biggest question is why would would they go through all that trouble when they could have just taped a hammer to their leg and ask the bank tellers nicely for 70k in 50s and 100s?
Vicky gulps nervously as she looks to the camera.
- Vicky Victorious: And just what were the lasers they were using? Witnesses reported earlier that these "Concrete Cutters" were being sold outside the formerly abandoned fire station that was bought by Nycho Invalidez...
- Obena': Hoooo boy.
- Nycho: Hrm. Maybe I can try and register the firehouse as a church so if anyone asks, they look the other way…
- Obena: This is bad…
- Vicky Victorious: After the break… just what is causing massive damage to all the sidewalks in Seattle? Why are there so many potholes? Why is all the markings in the shapes of dicks?
- Nycho: I didn't know they were gonna draw it like that.
Obena and Nycho hear knocking on the door.
- Obena: You get it.
- Nycho: It was your mining laser that gave me the idea!
- Obena: You're the one who put it into action!
Sakeena just enters into the firehouse.
- Sakeena: You guys could have answered the door, just saying.
- Obena: Haaahhhh, sorreee…
- Sakeena: You two aren't up to anything stupid right?
- Nycho: Um… nope. Don't look at the news.
- Sakeena: Oh I never do. It's too depressing to watch most of the time. Rachel likes to watch though, but I think it's mostly just to see newswomen wearing boots.
- Obena: Why would you share that- never mind. Okay, we're in big trouble because of the Concrete Cutters. Turns out cutting concrete isn't really a consumer appliance like me and Nycho thought and causes a lot of problems!
- Nycho: Why would you share that?
- Obena: I dunno! I felt guilty!
- Sakeena: Woof… that's a problem. Well… I'm sure it won't be a issue for long. F.A.N.T.'s usually good at taking care of this kind of thing…
- Nycho: The problem can be very easily tracked to us.
- Sakeena: Oh…
- Obena: What are we gonna do?
- Nycho: Can we get your approval for turning this firehouse into a mosque?
- Sakeena: I think people would get pissed off if this had a muslim connection, and no.
- Nycho: Shit, you're right.
- Sakeena: Well, we're gonna do this the easy way. We're not gonna leave this damn firehouse until this all blows over.
- Nycho: Gotcha.
- Obena: That sounds like a good idea.
Unten and Kiva storm into Fenrir's throne room.
- Unten: We're here to end this, Fenrir!
- Kiva: Yeah!
- Fenrir: That's cool, but can you all just wait for five minutes? I got something very important and if you come even a inch closer this whole room will blow up.
- Unten: Is this a bluff?
- Fenrir: No. I'm serious. Do you want to kill everyone aboard? I know you hate killing so you two better just stay perfectly still.
Unten and Kiva stand perfectly still.
- Fenrir: Yeah, see? You're good at following directions. I like that. Can I pay you two to be my new guards?
- Kiva: We live to be everything you're not!
- Unten: Yeah!
- Fenrir: So… that's a no then. Alright. Well… keep standing still.
Doomulus Rise covers up his face as he bolts onto the battlefield. Doomulus Thai kicks into Relena's back.
- Relena: Ack!
Relena slams into the ground as Doomulus Thai prepares her heel against the back of her head, but Relena catches it with her mouth tentacles.
- Hyper Form Strafe: I don't think they're trying to fight us anymore… I think they're fighting each other.
- Hyper Form Rachel: Huh… I wonder why that is.
- Mioda: They might, but that swarm of Krexxon and Rise sure aren't!
- Zerita: You got this, sister?
- Mioda: Oh yeah, I'm about to do something mondo cool....
Mioda prepares three arrows with slime tips, aiming them at Rise and the Krexxon army as they run towards the group.
- Mioda: Mondo…
Mioda fires the arrows off, creating big blobs of slime that keep Rise and the Krexxon stuck inside as they expand. Rise freaks out, trying to get out as the slime expands faster. Mioda pulls back her arrow and points a single ice arrow at the slime blobs.
- Mioda: Cool!
Mioda shoots it off, the slime blobs freezing as the group is unable to move, squirming in their icy trap.
- Zerita: Hell yeah.
Doomulus Thai jumps back with Relena attached and attempts to slam her in to the ground before getting knocked in the face by Relena's tentacle hand, which wraps around her neck to choke her.
- Hyper Form Strafe: What do we do about those two?
- Hyper Form Rachel: I dunno, let them tire themselves out? Let's go help Unten and Kiva now we've gotten everything taken care of-
Doomulus Thai is flung into a black pillar by Relena who drops to the ground and begins charging at the group. Mioda fires off a slime arrow but Relena cuts through it, a blast of slime exploding as she keeps running.
- Hyper Form Strafe: Aw hell.
Unten looks his coat as he waits.
- Unten: ...is it over yet?
- Fenrir; You'll know when it gets here. He's never this late…
Suddenly Frink enters into the room out a time portal.
- Frink: Sorry sir! Nearly ran into someone in the time stream and that was what caused me to be 30 seconds behind. Won't happen again…
Frink hands Fenrir a package. Fenrir signs it off and opens it to reveal a flaming samurai sword. Frink exits the way he came and Fenrir steps off the throne.
- Fenrir: Now we duel!
- Unten: Man, I didn't think a bad guy would lie, how dumb was I?
Kiva smirks as she charges forward with Kayser, the flaming samurai blade and Kayser in a block lock. Unten charges his feet with electricity as he jumps forward, slamming Fenrir's side.
- Fenrir: Oh, this is no fair!
Fenrir presses a button on a communicator.
- Fenrir: Relena! Relena come in!
Cutting to Relena, Relena hears Fenrir's voice and growls as she angrily cuts it off of herself, destroying it.
- Fenrir: Huh… static.
- Unten: Take this, you sack of crap!
Unten slams his fist into Fenrir's side, electrically charging it. Fenrir howls in pain as he shoots at Unten with a blast of flame, slamming into him in the wall with the flaming jet.
- Kiva: Unten!
Kiva takes up flight as she dodges his flaming swing.
- Fenrir': Doomulus Thai! Thai!
Cutting to Doomulus Thai, who has the wind knocked out of her, groans as she hears Fenrir's voice.
- Doomulus Thai: What?
- Fenrir: I need your help!
- Doomulus Thai: ...be right there…
Doomulus Thai picks herself up as she just walks past the scene of the battle, where Relena is holding her own against the group.
- Doomulus Thai: Poser...
Doomulus Thai starts walking up the stairs. Unten and Kiva keep trying to fight Fenrir, who is actually managing to hold his own pretty well.
- Unten: Beorn Bolt!
Unten slams into the ground, delivering a big shockwave to Fenrir that stuns him and turns out the light momentarily.
- Fenrir: AAACK!!
The lights flicker as Fenrir looks at Unten and Kiva nervously. Thai bursts into the room, glancing at Unten and Kiva.
- Doomulus Thai: These two are giving you trouble?
- Fenrir: Yes! Take care of them before the lights go out!
Doomulus Thai rolls her eyes and sighs, cracking her knuckles as she kicks Kiva into the wall. Kiva groans before making a realization.
- Kiva: ...before the lights go out…?
Unten and Doomulus Thai get into a skirmish, with him attempting to block her blows. Thai smirks as she pulls back one of her legs.
- Doomulus Thai: It's a shame you're cute because I'm seriously gonna wreck your shit.
- Unten: ...cute?
Doomulus Thai slams into Unten with another kick, knocking him into the wall. Fenrir laughs out of relief.
- Fenrir: Well, I see who is deserving of my funding now.
- Doomulus Thai: Good. I'm gonna go back downstairs to teach that Krexxon jerk a lesson.
- Fenrir: Wait, you can't just leeeave!!!
Doomulus Thai already has.
- Fenrir: Well, at least those two jerkwads are taken care of- whaaa?
Fenrir sees Kiva stab the lights in the room, turning the room darker and darker.
- Fenrir: Stop, I beg of you!
- Kiva: Better leave planet Earth alone then.
- Fenrir: No…
- Kiva: Then I'm just gonna keep doing it.
Kiva stabs the rest of the lights, about to kill the last one before Fenrir shouts.
- Fenrir: FINE! I'll leave Earth alone!
Kiva squints her eyes, prodding the light slowly.
- Fenrir: Don't!
- Kiva: Alright, your word better be worth it. Come on, Unten.
Kiva picks up Unten, who is barely conscious, and flies out of the room. Fenrir leans into his communicator.
- Fenrir: Retreat!
The last light goes out and Fenrir screams.
Mioda and Zerita glance as the Krexxon pull away from the battlefield. Kiva drops Unten in front of them.
- Kiva: Let's go. We're done.
- Zerita: Just like that?
- Kiva: The only way to beat a businessman is to cut a deal with him. Needless to say, I could handle that.
- Kurafeza: What kind of deal did you cut with him?
- Kiva: Nothing satanic. Just for me to stop cutting off the light.
- Mioda: Huh. Wouldn't have pegged him as someone afraid of the dark.
- Kiva: I didn't either. Came in handy though! Let's… get off this stinking cruiser ship before he changes his mind.
- Kurafeza: You seemed kind out of it earlier.
- Kiva: Yeah, I was… but Unten kind of helped in a weird, zen-like way.
- Unten: (mumbling) ...zen…
- Kiva: I think Thai really knocked the wind out of him too… probably best for him to rest.
- Hyper Form Rachel: Oh god, Unten!
Rachel depowers out of her Hyper Form state to rub his cheek like a friend.
- Rachel: Is he gonna be okay?
- Kiva: Yeah, he's probably been through worse, right?
- Rachel: I mean, he died once…
- Strafe: Heh.
- Mioda: Alright, seriously, let's go.
Episode 5: Just Like Piccolo
A few hours later, Unten sits on the couch at the firehouse, feeling a lot better after having slept on the way back. Kiva and her group are also there, chatting.
- Strafe: You figured out a last name yet?
- Unten: Uhmm… well, Unten Blue was sounding good, but it needed that extra punch. Unten… Bluzen?
- Kiva: Oh hey, I like that.
- Unten: Thanks.
Kiva kisses his cheek.
- Kiva: Thanks for that stuff back there. I don't think… I could have done it, to be honest.
- Unten: Mmm…
- Kiva: I don't get why you didn't use Imperium or the Hyper Mode orb though. That seemed really stupid.
- Unten: I just wanted us to be on a equal field again.
- Kiva: Yeah… you could have saved that sappy shit for later, you goof.
- Unten: Some things don't change, huh.
- Kiva: We're just old friends, we can rib on each other.
Unten smiles. He turns his attention back to his laptop.
- Unten: Oh shit, I'm Piccolo.
Nycho leaps out from underneath the couch.
- Nycho: Piccolo?!
- Unten: AAA! Where did you come from?
- Nycho: We were hiding because we're involved with something really bad going on with the sidewalks.
Rachel drinks a glass of water from the "kitchen".
- Rachel: Was it you who was drawing dicks everywhere in Seattle? Don't tell me it was Obena, that girl is too pure for that shit...
Obena opens the cabinet from inside, spooking Rachel as it's revealed she was in there.
- Obena: No… it was our clients.
- Nycho: Yeah, we really screwed up real bad…
- Unten: Ah, just relax. F.A.N.T likes us, I think.
- Strafe: So, Unten Bluzen, huh?
- Unten: I guess. I needed a last name, it works, right?
- Rachel: Unten Bear was cute though…
- Unten: I don't want to make myself sound like I'm five.
- Rachel: Ah, yeah, that might be a issue with that name.
Sakeena slides down the fire pole.
- Rachel: Oh there you are, Sakeena!
- Sakeena: Hi!
- Rachel: How was Hisplit?
- Sakeena: Kind of a walking nightmare… but the girl was nice! I dunno. Hahh…
- Rachel: Well, let's sit down and talk about it!
Rachel smiles as Sakeena looks to her and goes into the kitchen to talk to her. Kiva sits next to Unten.
- Unten: When do you get going back to the resistance? I'm sure your new boyfriend is worried about you.
- Kiva: Nah… he's not real. I just wanted to give the illusion I was doing better than you. I got a lot to learn.
- Unten: Well, that's what failing's for… maybe we should train more. I can't depend on Imperium and Hyper Mode for everything…
- Kiva: I'd like that! I think we'll leave as soon as Chelsea finishes fixing our old pod. That'll take a week though.
- Unten: Huh. Well, a week's good enough to catch up!
Chelsea is working on the pod with Besi, trying to get it back to pristine condition. Cura walks in.
- Cura: Hey, Chelsea, need help?
- Chelsea: Yeah, help solder that…
Cura blasts a bolt where Chelsea is pointing to. Chelsea smiles and runs over to her to hug her.
- Cura: Aaa~
- Chelsea: Hah, sorry…
- Cura: Ehehe… why did you tell everyone I was out for repairs though?
- Chelsea: I wasn't gonna tell them where you actually were…
- Cura: Oh… I don't see why saying I was in bed would raise questions? I was just sleeping…
- Chelsea: You know them… they have very dirty minds and I didn't want to put up with that...
- Cura: Mmm…
Cura hugs Chelsea as Chelsea rubs her hair. Besi mooes.
Fenrir is sitting in a room with only the holo caster projecting any kind of light. Doomulus Prime is on the screen.
- Doomulus Prime: Well, Fenrir, have you had second thoughts?
- Fenrir: I'm rich, I don't need to think. I'm… fully funding your organization. Thank Thai for that.
- Doomulus Prime: Good. Anything else we can do for you Fenrir?
- Fenrir: Well, actually if you could-
- Doomulus Prime: No? Alright. Take care of yourself.
The holo caster shuts off, the room getting unbearably dark for Fenrir. A white dot emerges, expanding out into a white sparkling.
- White Sparkling: So, how was the call?
- Fenrir: Get away from me, you damn demon! I want nothing to do with you, Moonwhite!
- Moonwhite: C'mon kid, I want the details.
- Fenrir: No!
Fenrir runs out of his throne room as Moonwhite laughs.
Doomulus Thai enters Doomulus Prime's throne room.
- Doomulus Prime: We have Fenrir back on board, with you to thank, apparently.
- Doomulus Thai: Oh please, it was nothing.
- Doomulus Prime: We noticed some interesting powers at the scene when we were doing a witness exam of it. Something known as Hyper Mode… I want you to look into it.
- Doomulus Thai: ...as you command, sir.
Alena Carter and Jake Skett wait at the door.
- Alena: Remember to not be too hard on them, okay?
- Jake: I know, you don't need to be on my case.
- Alena: Phh… I'm always on your case…
Alena kisses his cheek. Jake blushes. Obena opens the door slowly.
- Obena: Uh… owo, pleese don't swend me to jail mister Skett!
- Alena: What is this?
- Obena: Sakeena told me to do it.
- Sakeena: (distant) It was a SUGGESTION!
- Jake: Well, we're not gonna do that, but if you have any extra mining lasers we need to confiscate those.
- Nycho: (distant) We sold them all!
- Jake: Can you to just come to the door? We're not armed.
- Nycho: This better not be F.A.N.T.
- Jake: It's F.A.N.T, but you two better come to the door anyway.
- Sakeena: Ugh, fine.
Nycho and Sakeena come to the door. Jake hands them a piece of paper.
- Jake: You have a fine of 1,200 dollars.
- Obena: I think you mean fat stacks.
- Jake: Sure, whatever.
The three sign the paper and hand over 1,200 dollars.
- Jake: That's all. See ya.
- Nycho: Oh man, that could have been so much worse, huh? Imagine if they found out I was betting on children's soccer matches.
- Sakeena: Why would you say that?
- Jake: I heard that, and you better stop doing that too…
Jake shakes his head.
- Jake: Why can't anyone in this damn universe be normal…
- Alena: If we were normal, we probably wouldn't be married.
- Jake: True…
Jake takes off in his car with Alena.
- Sakeena: Well, I'm not doing anything with you two again unless I want to get in trouble.
- Nycho: Yeah, that's it!
- Obena: Yeah!
- Nycho: You want to go over to my cousin's house to install a airhorn in her toilet?
- Obena: Oh, that sounds fun!
- Sakeena: Damn it, you guys are bringing me back in. I'll get the camera.
Relena exits Fenrir's cruiser ship in her own ship. She brings up up a holo caster with Doomulus Thai.
- Relena: Listen to me.
Doomulus Thai glances at her on the Holo Caster.
- Relena: I will end your existence. You might have gotten Fenrir to cut some of his support for the Krexxons, but without his prized Doomuli guard, he's gonna crawl back to me.
- Doomulus Thai: Is that about our fight earlier? I could care less about all this crap.
- Relena: Sure you don't.
- Doomulus Thai: I really... really don't. I'm just moving up in the ranks so I have power to veto plans against Doomuli invasions of Earth...
- Relena: Sure, that's all it is. You'll never see me coming.
Relena shuts the holo caster off and hisses.
- Relena: Hate her.
Unten is back at his apartment, watching TV with Zerita. Someone knocks and Unten gets up to go get it. It's Mioda and Doomulus Grime.
- Mioda: I found this guy out tonight looking for you. And we were talking and… yeah, I think I get it now.
- Doomulus Grime: I'm never going to be truly forgiven, but I can try, right?
- Zerita: Don't be playing games with me, Grime.
- Doomulus Grime: I know you're mad at me and I want to make it up to you. Tell me how to do that.
- Zerita: I want to stab you.
- Doomulus Grime: Go for it.
Zerita stabs Doomulus Grime in the head, leaving three very clean holes in his head.
- Zerita: That felt pretty good.
- Doomulus Grime: I mean, it hurts, but it's what I deserve, right?
- Zerita: I suppose… I suppose if you want to do anything more, you could help us fight against the Doomuli a bit. Get in some secrets or something and leak them to us and the resistance.
- Doomulus Grime: That's fine with me.
Zerita breathes out.
- Zerita: I'm still not forgiving you. But you're on that path.
Doomulus Grime cracks a small smile.
- Zerita: Now get your stupid face out of here.
Doomulus Grime leaves as the camera pans to the moon.
- The working title for this story was originally How Unten Got His Last Name; this ultimately become the alternate title as it centered too much attention on Unten as opposed to the other characters featured in the story.
- Sia is implied to be meeting Lightning Chief during the events of this.
- The need to give Unten a last name came out of frustrations involving editing Unten's old page. Helena did not want to make a new page under the title of Unten (New Fantendoverse) or Unten (NF), as she felt it looked too messy and would be impractical to link for pages. The last name (Bluzen) was decided between Helena and Pablo.
References to Other Works
- Days of Victory - Referenced multiple times with how the situation with the Threat, the Fan, and the Enemy went down, as well as restarting a conversation that began between Zerita and Unten during the story. Introduced the Hyper Mode orbs, which also make a return here. Chelsea's rocket making skills were previously seen in this story, as well as Besi. Additionally, Nycho's birdcage car is referenced here, as well as why he knows the directions to the Bluecarrot Farm. Obena and Nycho's friendship also started here!
- A Flash Beorn Our Eyes - The events of this are heavily mentioned during Zerita and Unten's talk about Doomulus Grime and later mentioned among the Zeonian survivors. Additionally, Doomulus Thai and Doomulus Rise made their first appearances here and it is why they recognize Unten.
- The Threat's Beorn - Mentioned when Unten goes over his failures with Kiva.
- Beorn Hallow - Referenced in origin to how Unten got Imperium.
- Cuisine of the Zaxinian Lifts - Referenced with the Squid Chowder and Chain-Link Donuts.
- Remains of Krexxak - Where Relena comes from. Emid is mentioned in her dialogue.