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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, UNTEN

Happy Birthday, Unten! is a short story penned by Helena Harper (tbc), celebrating the birthday of Unten Bluzen, which falls on April 18th in canon. It canonically takes place after Just Like Old Friends but just a month before the events of Rendered NULL. The plot revolves around the fourth-dimensional trickster Herald named Nebuel Tzunn Chadnezzar crashing Unten's birthday.


Story

A party scene is set up at a park. Strafe studies the giant cake in front of him, which is surrounded by dozens of little cupcakes with Unten's likeness on them. He readies a knife and starts to go for the cake before the knife floats out of his hand.

Strafe: Ay, what the...

Sakeena folds her arms as the knife floats around her.

Sakeena: Come on, Strafe, wait until Unten gets here.

Strafe sighs as he moves away from the table.

Strafe: Sorry, that cake just looks really, really good.
Rachel: Well, it's not for you. It's for Unten.

Zerita walks over to the scene.

Zerita: Where is he, anyway?
Strafe: Oh, I dunno. Kind of a shame, considering we got everyone out here and all. Some of these people don't visit often.
Zerita: Eh, he'll be here. Someone wanna give him a call to see if something's holding him up?

Unten walks up to the group.

Unten: Yeah, I don't think that will be necessary.
Strafe: Unten, man of the hour! How are you?
Unten: Groggy. Didn't sleep very well.
Rachel: Oh?
Unten: Yeah... I had a dream about a comet sent by Vokkskar hitting the surface of Zeon. When I woke up, I was in a cold sweat and I had to remember I don't live on Zeon anymore and it's... a whole thing.
Rachel: You still have dreams about Zeon?
Unten: I would have thought they would have ended a while ago, and they did, but they came back. I guess I still sort of miss it, in my own way.

Rachel looks over to Strafe.

Rachel: You wanna eat? Strafe is getting antsy.
Unten: Oh yeah, sure!

Unten leans onto the picnic table.

Unten: Wow! Look at this! All these Untencakes and even... some sort of... Untencake Deluxe. Looks delicious.
Rachel: You can thank Skitti for that.
Unten: The little Scratch Kat cult girl?
Rachel: Yeah, she knows how to cook. Although to be frank, she doesn't really seem to be involved with that whole thing anymore.
Unten: Where are Scratch Kat and those guys anyway?
Rachel: They went back to that planet. What for, I dunno.

Sakeena begins cutting into the cake with a knife.

Rachel: While don't you enjoy the cake and meet everyone? They're eager to see you.
Unten: Yeah, I'll do that. You guys are great.

Rachel smiles.


Obena pokes at the cake as she sits with Nycho.

Nycho: Hey, what's wrong with the cake? Why aren't you eating it?
Obena: Mm... I've found that I have weird allergy when it comes to certain kinds of breads. It kind of swells up my tongue and... I don't really wanna get into it but... it swells up with pus?
Nycho: Oof... bread in general does this to you?
Obena: Well, what you guys call "gluten".
Nycho: Oh... right. That happens with humans too, I think.
Obena: Yeah?
Nycho: Yeah, it's a normal thing for some people. I can grab you something that's not full of gluten if you want.
Obena: Oh, that would be great!
Nycho: I'll be right back then!

Obena dabs as Nycho walks away, looking over the food. He looks to Faria, who is also looking over the food.

Nycho: Oh hey, do you know what's gluten free?
Faria: Why would I know that? I can barely figure out if any of these meats were prepared with halal ideals in mind…

Faria flips over a piece of ham glazed in brown sugar, looking rather disgusted. Sakeena walks over to the two.

Sakeena: Oh sister, don't worry. We prepared plenty of halal meats. I'll point them out to you.

Nycho glances over.

Nycho: What about that gluten-free though.
Sakeena: Gluten-free? Wait, who's allergic to gluten?
Nycho: Obena. She just told me.
Sakeena: You might wanna ask Skitti directly about that. Mm. I'm not sure if we baked anything with gluten in mind…
Nycho: Where's Skitti at?
Sakeena: Around… I dunno where exactly, she kind of has those dumb cartoon powers so…
Faria: Say… isn't Nycho the one that was hitting on me when we were looking for you?
Sakeena: Well yeah, him and Obena.
Faria: I was trying to figure out why he looked familiar…

Faria shrugs and looks back to her sister.


Unten walks over to Alcyone and FDX-Athens, the latter of which is holding the former in her huge arms.

Unten: Hey, it's nice that you showed up.
Alcyone: Well, of course I would! Honestly, it'd be a shame if I didn't.
Unten: Yeah… hah. Thanks for being there for me after… all that.
Alcyone: Descending the Fan and the Enemy?
Unten: Well yeah, I didn't want to refer to it like that. I'd rather not have the memories of that spring to mind…
Alcyone: Say, where did their Beorn go? You know, the one that descended the Threat?

Unten ponders for a moment.

Unten: That's… a good point. Where did he go?
Alcyone: Oh well, I'm sure it's a moot point and won't play a role in a future story of our lives.

Alcyone stares blankly at the camera. Unten turns his head and looks confused.

Unten: Where are you staring off to? There's nothing over there.
Alcyone: I beg to differ. You see Orithell looking all fine over there?
Unten: Oh come on. She already has a girlfriend. Honestly… I should talk to them, it's been a while…
Alcyone: Why don't you do that… I'll just be over here, enjoying the view.
Unten: Come on, don't be creepy like that.

Alcyone sighs as she leans back into FDX-Athens.

Alcyone: You're right, but also nobody can tell with this helmet anyway.

Unten rolls his eyes as he walks off. He steps towards Orithell and Reese.

Unten: Reese, you certainly look different…
Orithell: Doesn't she? It's only been a few months on hormone treatments and she's already looking amazing.
Reese: Shh…
Unten: I mean, she is right.
Reese: Thanks. Sorry I kind of cut contact like that, I guess. I just… kind of felt out of place with you guys?
Unten: Yeah, PalmMan felt kind of the same. I don't think he's even here…
Reese: Huh.
Unten: It's understandable, really. Some people got families and stuff they want to focus on instead.

Unten scratches the side of his head.

Unten: Meanwhile, I'm just dealing with my own dreadful thoughts.

Unten shakes his head.

Unten: Man, look at me, getting sad at my own party.
Reese: Eh, it's fine, I'm sorry for even bringing it up. How's… X-Ray holding up?
Unten: Um…

Unten takes a minute.

Unten: We honestly haven't even called her.

Reese's eyes widen.

Reese: Really?
Unten: Honestly, nobody knows where she went. The doctor office was bought by someone else and she hasn't been seen in a long time, it feels.
Reese: You should reach out…
Unten: What would we even talk about? Leah- I mean Sarah isn't even back…
Reese: Well, the longer you go without talking to her, the more awkward this is going to be…

Unten sighs.

Unten: Well, yeah.

Orithell leans against a tree as she looks at Iron Mask, PAIN-T 4.0, and Scarlet enjoying some green-apple absinthe over on one of the other benches.

Orithell: Unten, you got more people to visit- today's not a day to worry about anything! Go have fun.
Unten: Oh shit, yeah, you're right, I should meet with more of our guests.

Unten waves goodbye to Reese and Orithell as he heads over to the Wasteland Warriors.

Reese: Ah shit, I did worry him, didn't I?
Orithell: Reese, you've always been socially awkward. It's fine.

Orithell kisses her on the cheek.


Nycho approaches Skitti, who is carrying her white suitcase marked with black xes across it.

Nycho: You made the food, right?
Skitti: The cakes, yeah.
Nycho: Cool. Are they gluten free?
Skitti: Gluten-free? What is that? Some kind of weird alternate Unten?
Nycho: I mean, maybe. I just know it has something to do with bread.
Skitti: Well, I don't know, so that probably maybe means it's not.
Nycho: Oh.
Skitti: But hey, maybe if we figure out what this gluten thing is, I can cook up a bunch of new stuff without it in my oven.

Skitti pulls a whole oven out from her suitcase effortlessly.

Nycho: That seems like a good idea. I'm going to run over to the library.
Skitti: Why don't you just use your phone?
Nycho: Oh, that's an even better idea. You can keep that one though.

Nycho runs off to his car as Skitti shrugs.


Unten sits at the table with Iron Mask, PAIN-T 4.0, and Scarlet as they catch up.

Unten: So, PAIN-T went through another upgrade?
Iron Mask: Yeah… just seemed like a good time.
Scarlet: I mean, we all kind of changed in small ways from that Threat attack. I mean, I know eating fries is unhealthy, but like, I'm doing exercise to counteract it instead of just throwing it up like I did before.
PAIN-T: Iron Mask has been helping Reese transition and I personally have been doing my best to reform the criminals in the Wasteland.
Unten: Oh yeah, what happened to Tripten?
PAIN-T: How do you think we got here? He used your subway rail as a means to get here and he's resting back at the station in the Wasteland.
Unten: You know what, that's fair.

Sakeena taps Unten on the shoulder.

Sakeena: Hey, can I talk to you?
Unten: Yeah, what's up?

Sakeena pulls out an issue of a comic book with Mynis on the cover.

Sakeena: You remember Mynis right? He's back, in comic book form.
Unten: Wait…

Unten flips through the pages.

Unten: Yo… why does he get a comic book but not me?
Sakeena: You HAD a comic book. They retired it after you died, remember?
Unten: No???

Unten looks visibly confused.

Sakeena: Well, you sold your image rights to a bunch of companies to make a bunch of merchandise of you, right? Like Leah did? You sold your comic rights to Stararm Comics, which are now Beorn Comics now, apparently.
Unten: Well, what's the issue?
Sakeena: I dunno, I thought it was really weird when I went gift shopping last weekend.
Unten: You bought me a gift?
Sakeena: Well, yeah. You're my friend, why wouldn't I?
Unten: I guess I just didn't really consider the idea that anyone would give me gifts on this occasion after y'know…
Sakeena: Oh come the flip the frog on, Unten. Stop tearing yourself up about that. When did I have to become the adult?
Unten: I dunno, you've always been smarter than everyone else and you learned from your mistakes.

Sakeena blushes and turns away.

Unten: Well, hey, I mean it. Leah kind of only really did that at the end of her life, Rachel and Strafe have always been repeating theirs and like… I try but I'm clearly not doing as well as I could be…
Sakeena: Stop! That's really nice and all, but you're making me feel way older than I should.

Unten smirks.

Unten: Sorry.

Sakeena shakes her head.

Unten: How's the dating scene been?
Sakeena: Oh, you know… good… I dunno. I know Rubelline and Alcyone are dating multiple people but I just kind of worry from time to time about handling everything. I'm held to a higher standard than everyone else, so I don't really get to be immature like them…
Unten: Ah shit, sorry, is treating you like an adult holding you to a standard you don't think you can achieve? Wow, that was way more passive aggressive than I thought it would come out. Words… not good.
Sakeena: Nah, I understood the tone. And trust me, it's fine… I just don't have very good role models I guess. I don't wanna go full poly but I dunno, I like everyone I'm dating…
Unten: Nothing wrong with being poly.
Sakeena: Yeah, I just… don't want to commit to that.
Unten: You gotta experiment to find out who you are.
Sakeena: I guess.
Unten: Is there anyone else I should meet before we get going on like, opening gifts and stuff?
Sakeena: I mean, Kiva's here with her group. Squad 410's here, but they aren't really acting like guests… more like a strike force in case something goes wrong. Because like, if you get this many super powered individuals in one place, F.A.N.T. has to act chaperone.
Unten: Man, you really are a millenial.
Sakeena: Thank you. I try my hardest.

Unten and Sakeena laugh.

Unten: I guess there really isn't anyone here I have to see. I just met back up with Kiva and Squad 410 is always... on our case.

Blank pops off from a tree, completely unspotted by both Unten and Sakeena.

Blank: The reason we're always on your case is because you own a fucking firehouse with the son of a goddess, a metal bender granted powers by the gods, the first nationally recognized alien, a alien that could theoretically 3d print a gun, and a man who drives this car.

Blank holds up a picture of Nycho's fucked up car.

Blank: I think we have the right to be concerned.
Unten: Right, right. I understand the service you guys provide for our country.

Sakeena just kind of folds her arms.

Sakeena: Are you mad if I kneel during the flag?
Blank: Why would I give a shit?
Sakeena: Oh yeah, you're the rebellious one. Would Logia give a shit?
Blank: Nobody gives a shit, dude.

Sakeena nods.

Blank: Anyway, I guess I'm going to have to keep a close eye on you two.

Unten looks to Sakeena who shrugs.

Blank: Haha, just kidding. Happy birthday or whatever.

Nycho looks through a bunch of books on the shelves, reading off the spines as he squints his eyes.

Nycho: Mm… yeah, this isn't getting me anywhere.

Nycho pulls out Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man by Tim Allen and takes a look through the pages.

Nycho: I gotta say, Tim Allen is not giving me ANY convincing reasons not to.

Nycho just throws the book to the side and looks up "gluten" on the computers.

???: Sir…

Nycho attempts to swivel in the chair that's planted into the ground.

A blonde haired librarian holds up Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man by Tim Allen and waves it at Nycho.

Librarian: You can't… just throw books on the floor. Who told you that was okay?
Nycho: Oh, nobody. I was just done with it.
Librarian: Then put it back on the shelf.

Nycho looks at her badge, which reads "Pasiphae".

Nycho: Ms… Pasiphae, I will not repeat that mistake in the future.
Pasiphae: It's Ms. Lotte, actually. Pasiphae is my first name. I'm… surprised you were able to pronounce that properly.
Nycho: Ey, my best friend is a translator by trade, I guess it rubbed off.
Pasiphae: Oh, interesting. Well, what are you looking for? Figure I should know if you're going to throw books everywhere.
Nycho: Oh! Gluten. Do you know anything about that?

Pasiphae squints her eyes.

Pasiphae: Yeah, I can find some books you can read up on.

Nycho taps his knees as he waits.


Unten meets up with Sia and Netnu, who are cutting the cake.

Unten: It's… nice to see you guys back. I don't know how much I've said that but I mean it.

Sia smiles. Netnu can't be read through his mask.

Sia: Well, we missed you, you little dummy…

Sia rubs the top of his head, causing two strands to poke up. Sia giggles as Netnu goes back to cutting the cake. Mioda leans against the table as she talks with Kurafeza in the background, while Zerita approaches Unten.

Zerita: You having a good birthday?
Unten: Yeah, actually! Caught up with a bunch of people.
Zerita: Good to know. Listen, I'm not saying there's a snake loose in the grass, but if you see one, let me know, okay?

Zerita gets on her hands and knees as she prowls around somewhat like a wild animal. Unten goes back to looking at the cake, nervously glancing back and forth. Kiva leans against the table.

Kiva: Ey, Unten.
Unten: Hey.
Kiva: Damn, you really got it all huh? A nice party, friends and I guess most of your "family" here…
Unten: Hey, you don't need to compare yourself to me. You got your own tasks, you know? The circumstances are different.
Kiva: I guess.

Kiva leans back a little as she grabs a piece of cake.

Kiva: I just… hm. I thought I would be ahead of you at this point.

Kiva bites into a piece of cake.

Kiva: But nah… not really like that. I don't know. I don't wanna come off as envious. But I totally am.

Kiva keeps eating the cake.

Kiva: This is really good cake, by the way. Have you tried this?
Unten: Hahh… not yet.

Sia glances over to Unten.

Sia: Oh, I'll cut you a slice.

Unten nods.

Unten: Yeah, alright.
???: Hey, how about I cut a slice into this party?

Unten glances around.

Unten: Wait, who said that?

Sia and the cake suddenly disappear. Netnu steps back as someone "phases" into thin air, a pale brown Beorn with a red bowtie. The beorn adjusts their bowtie as they float in mid-air.

Unten: Who the hell are you and where's Sia? And the cake?
Kiva: Yeah! Hang on.

Kiva scarves down the rest of the cake as Unten rolls his eyes.

Nebuel: Well, if you gotta know, it's Nebuel Tzunn Chadnezzar…
Netnu: He must be a Herald with a long name like that.
Nebuel: Correct! Hey! This guy is smart. I like that.
Unten: Where's Sia?
Nebuel: You must forgive me for being easily distracted. Don't worry. She's fine and safe across the W-Axis.
Unten: The hell is he talking about?
Nebuel: I swear, all third dimensional dimensions I've visited are so simple minded… literally unable to comprehend anything with more than three sides visible at a time.

Sakeena quickly flips through a comic book with Nebuel's visage on the cover and quickly scans through it.

Nebuel: Well, You have a little party set up, huh? Shame our birthdays are on the same day and all. Isn't that strange?
Unten: You came to crash my party just because our birthdates are on the same day?
Nebuel: Crash?

Nebuel laughs.

Nebuel: Nah, I'm the entertainment. Don't worry, nobody sent me. Nobody ever does. But hey, here's your fool!

Nebuel grabs a party popper and pops it off directly into Unten's face.

Nebuel: Happy birthday, Unten!

Unten looks annoyed.

Unten: How do I make you go away?

Nebuel grins cheekily as he lays back in mid-air.

Nebuel: Oh, you can get rid of me, alright, but under my conditions.
Unten: Which are?
Nebuel: I gotta touch a clown.
Unten: Oh come on, this is ridiculous.
Nebuel: Yeah, it sure is buddy! But it can get way more ridiculous, don't you think? Buddies!

Nebuel snaps his fingers as a giant portal opens up, with a giant Unten-like dinosaur emerging from the portal.

Nebuel: Guess this park party just went Jurassic. That's a joke, you stonefaced fucks!

Nebuel slaps his knee as the dinosaur sniffs the air and steps around threateningly.

Nebuel: Anyway, he doesn't like to talk and you guys don't not like knowing the names of your guests, right? That's U-Rex.
Unten: Cool.

Unten backs away and grabs Kiva by the arm. Netnu evaluates the situation and then jumps back.


Sakeena: Unten, over here.

Sakeena waves over to him.

Unten: Alright, coming.

Unten scurries over with Kiva. Sakeena holds the comic up to his face.

Unten: That's Nebuel, in comic form.
Sakeena: Yeah. He's a fourth dimensional trickster. And judging by these panels, he has more guests on the way.

Unten watches as Nebuel bring out a tesseract cube with dice numbers inscribed across the sides.

Sakeena: That's the Tesseract Dice. He can send anyone to up to eight dimensions held within, which act as rooms across the traditional tesseract model.
Kiva: Damn, I wish I was born as Beorn, you guys always get the cool shit.
Unten: Now's not the fucking time, Kiva.
Kiva: It's true though.

Netnu jumps up into the air and attempts to kick Nebuel in the face in the air, but he just disappears and then reappears behind Netnu, throwing the dice and transporting them both inside.

Unten: Well, great. How do we defeat this maniac?
Sakeena: Well, he already told you his weakness.
Unten: Touching clowns?
Sakeena: Yeah. He operates on his own rules. He wasn't lying about that.
Unten: So, to end this game we gotta get a clown.
Sakeena: Yeah, that's the idea.
Unten: Do we know any clowns?
Sakeena: Um...

Sakeena thinks for a really long time.

Unten: Ah shit.

Strafe rolls behind the tree where the three currently are.

Strafe: You see this shit? It's crazy.
Unten: Do you know any clowns?
Strafe: The fuck kind of question is that?
Kiva: It's the only way we are going to be able to defeat this guy.
Strafe: I mean, shit, the only person I know that's even close to a clown is…
Sakeena and Strafe: NYCHO!

Nycho flips through the pages of a bunch of culinary books.

Pasiphae: Let me know if you need anything.
Nycho: Damn, this is really good service for a library. Is it always like this?
Pasiphae: Eh, not quite…

Pasiphae leans against a bookshelf, trying to pose for Nycho, evidently trying to seduce him.

Nycho: Well, I thank you for the help anyway. So, gluten really is just a protein that's in some foods, and the way to cook it is through avoid using certain kinds of ingredients that are actually pretty common in baking, replacing it with gluten-free alternatives, huh?
Pasiphae: I guess.
Nycho: Well, I don't know how else I would have gotten this information. Thank you for helping!
Pasiphae: Well, hang on, aren't you gonna tip me for my service?
Nycho: Shit, that's a good point.

Nycho pulls out his wallet and rifles through cards, ticket stubs, and dollar bills before handing Pasiphae a five dollar bill and two quarters.

Pasiphae: Come again! Honestly… if you want, you can get my number and call me whenever, you know?
Nycho: That sounds helpful.

Pasiphae writes down her number on one of the pages in the books and then hands it to Nycho.

Nycho: Thank you!

Nycho heads out as Pasiphae slowly walks back over to her desk.

Pasiphae: Well, that didn't go how I kind of hoped…

Pasiphae taps at her own cheek as she thumbs through a romance novel.


Unten watches as Nebuel tilts an area around him like a cube, watching as Alcyone, FDX-Athens, Orithell, Reese, and Zerita seem to disappear as the cube is tilted back into it's original position.

Unten: Yeah, this is bad. Does anyone know where Nycho went?
Sakeena: I dunno… Obena would know, we should find her.

Unten nods as he runs across the park, looking for Obena. Obena is attempting to fight off U-Rex with Sovereign, holding it to the sky to absorb light rays and then firing off solar beams at the dinosaur.

Obena: Oh hey, Unten, can you help me with this dinosaur that terrifyingly resembles you?

Unten nods as he stabs U-Rex with Imperium, which barely seems to phase it as it turns around and flings Unten into a tree.

Unten: Ack!

Nebuel glances over.

Nebuel: Looks like you guys are being mean to my friend. How could you be so cruel?
Unten: Shut up, you piece of shit.
Nebuel: Oh, feisty! You sound like you haven't had enough.

Unten slowly gets up as a square with glasses and a tie emerges similar to Nebuel, while another portal opens up, revealing a humanoid figure coated in colorful crystals.

Nebuel: Meet Mr. Saqure and Chrysler! We make a dynamic group, don't you think? A demented dimension of characters, huh?
Unten: Ugh, you have your own team too?

Unten groans as he grabs Imperium from the leg of U-Rex, who roars. Unten dodges his attack as he rolls next to Obena, suddenly remembering.

Unten: Oh hey, do you know where Nycho is?
Obena: Oh, he went to go find out if the stuff at the party was gluten-free.
Unten: Wait, who is allergic to gluten?
Obena: Oh, me.
Unten: Did… did you tell him what gluten was?
Obena: ...did I need to?
Unten: Come on, you know he doesn't know anything.

Nycho ponders as he looks at the shelf of baking products before grabbing tapioca starch, arrowroot, cornstarch and potato starch and placing them in his small red basket cart.

Nycho: I mean, one of these has got to work as a good substitute for flour, right?

Nycho shrugs as he grabs some cans of caviar as he heads for the register.

Nycho: Been needing to get a fresh supply anyway…

Nycho scratches his head.

Nycho: Did I need any milk while I was here? I forgot if I'm good on that or not. I better check my phone.

Nycho scrolls through his notes before shaking his head.

Nycho: Yeah, we're good on that.

Nycho puts his phone away as he heads to the register.


Chrysler starts zapping at the Wasteland Warriors with candy and water attacks, with Iron Mask deflecting a large chocolate ball as PAIN-T 4.0 skates around Chrylser, firing paint out of her hands. Scarlet is chewing on a giant gummy bear in the background. Unten barely misses a W-Axis shift from Nebuel, although it forcefully tears Imperium from his arm.

Unten: Come on dude, this isn't funny to anyone! Can you just quit it, onionhead?

Nebuel taps his chin.

Nebuel: Onionhead. Hilarious that you're calling me that while telling me that this whole situation isn't funny to you.

Unten grunts.

Unten: Guess he shares my dislike of nicknames.
Sakeena: Leah was always good at coming up with those, if we had her…
Unten: Well, we don't, do we?

Unten stops himself as Sakeena just stands there, blown away by his tone.

Unten: Sorry. I shouldn't have snapped like that.
Sakeena: It's… fine.

Sakeena scratches her head.

Sakeena: Well, we don't know where Nycho went and everyone's just…

Sakeena can't finish her sentence as she's forcefully shoved across the W-Axis by Nebuel.

Unten: Oh, that does it!

Unten roars as he activates his Hyper Mode Orb, growling as he stares at Neubel, energy coursing off his fists.

Nebuel: I mean, you look ridiculous, but surely you know it doesn't constitute for a clown.

Hyper Form Unten bats the air as Nebuel keeps shifting in and out of the third dimension.

Nebuel: It's a matter of perspective, Unten.

Hyper Form Unten growls.

Hyper Form Unten: You could really use a new perspective yourself.

Mr. Saqure flicks Hyper Form Unten in the neck, forcing him out of the transformation. Unten rubs his neck as he glances at the 2D character, who folds like paper to look at him.

Unten: God, how the fuck did that work?
Mr. Saqure: When you can get as precise as you want when you're paper thin across a 3D pane, you'd be amazed at all the pressure points people have.

Unten's eyes dart towards Nycho's car, which pulls up in the distance. Nycho carries a bunch of paper bags.

Nycho: Hey, I'm back and I know what the fuck a gluten is!

Unten kicks Mr. Saqure straight in the face, knocking his glasses off as he runs towards Nycho.

Unten: Nycho, we got bigger issues.

Nycho tilts his head as he watches Rachel and Strafe get pushed across the W-Axis and the Wasteland Warriors run from U-Rex.

Nycho: Damn, what happened?
Unten: I dunno, some goober showed up at my party and started wrecking havoc and the condition to make him leave is to get a clown to touch him. You up to the task?
Nycho: Oh, I'm not a clown.
Unten: What?
Nycho: I mean, anything I say that might seem funny is just… me relieving the mood and trying to feel comfortable saying uncomfortable things. It's how I cope with my anxiety. I mean truth be told, I could have looked this up on my phone but… I dunno, the anxiety really got to me and I needed some fresh air.

Unten blows air out of his cheeks.

Unten: Well, great. Now what?

Nycho shrugs.

Nycho: We find a clown? I mean, I know a guy that knows a guy...
Unten: To be frank, I'm not sure we have the time.

Unten looks inside Nycho's bag.

Unten: Hang on. I think I can do something with this. But you need to distract him.
Nycho: Oh, sure.

Nycho steps out from behind the tree and points to Nebuel.

Nebuel: Hello, who are you?
Nycho: Nycho Invalidez. I see you've made a real mess out of things.

Nebuel crosses his arms.

Nebuel: Do… you have any powers or anything? Like, why are you here?
Nycho: I dunno. I think it's because I'm moderately rich?
Nebuel: Wait, you're moderately rich? What?
Nycho: Oh yeah, I get money from something that drips gasoline when the car has been stalled for a bit.
Nebuel: That seems like that's creating a problem.
Nycho: Yeah, that's why all the car companies use it. Since I patented it, they have to pay me for my design.

Nebuel squints his eyes.

Nycho: You look confused.
Nebuel: A little bit, your chaotic energies are throwing me off.

Unten comes out from behind the tree, his face smeared in various wheat substitutes, looking like a clown.

Nebuel: So you don't have any use to this group?
Nycho: I mean, I own their headquarters. I dunno, I obviously have my uses as there's a clown behind you.

Nebuel turns around, accidently slapping Unten. He looks horrified.

Nebuel: You outtricked me, you blue bear bit-
Unten: Yeah. I did. How about you run along now?

Nebuel's damage is quietly undone as Nebuel, U-Rex, Mr. Saqure, and Chrylser glitch out of existence.

Nebuel: Don't think this is over! I'll be back in 90 days or your money back!

Nebuel finally vanishes.

Unten: Ah shit, I should probably get this dumb shit off my face before anyone sees.

Nycho gives him a thumbs up as he walks towards everyone.

Nycho: Heyo.
Rachel: Wait, where the hell did you go?
Nycho: Oh, first I went to Skitti, then I went to the library, and then the grocery store.
Obena: Oh hey, did you get the gluten-free stuff?
Nycho: Yeah, I sure did. I'll give it to Skitti to bake with.
Obena: Thank you…

Unten comes back in, his face cleaned off.

Unten: Well, while you guys do that, I'm going to look through my gifts…

Unten heads over to the table and picks up a blue present and unwraps it, holding up a pair of black socks.

Strafe: You know, in case you wanna wear shoes.
Unten: Thank you.

Strafe folds his arms as he leans against a tree. Unten opens up another gift, containing a orange scarf.

Sia: You still like scarves, yeah?
Unten: Yeah… thank you!

Unten continues to open up his presents- mostly containing clothes or stuff for the apartment. Skitti brings out a gluten-free Deluxe Untencake, which Obena eagerly cuts up and eats with Nycho.

Sakeena: Was this a good birthday? Sorry if the Nebuel guy kind of ruined everything, although it's not like anyone knew he was coming…
Unten: Nah… I think I gained a greater appreciation for the things and people I have in my life.
Sakeena: Sorry if my gift was sucky.
Unten: What, the old Unten comics? They were cool to look through. Besides, it's not about gifts or anything like that.

Sakeena lets out a breath of relief.

Sakeena: Happy birthday, Unten.

Unten smiles.

THE END

Next time on the Fantendoverse…

Nycho invites over his new friend for a movie night.

Nycho
Obena, you haven't seen Broly yet, right?
Obena: No, not yet.
Nycho: Alright. I'll grab that off the shelf.
'Pasiphae: Why is your apartment so dingy?
Nycho: Ah, that's just how it is… I like that way.

Pasiphae shrugs.

Pasiphae: My sister's equally messy, so I guess I can't complain.

Nycho grabs the VHS of Dragon Ball Z: Broly – The Legendary Super Saiyan and puts it in the VHS player.

Pasiphae: Wait, what are we watching again?

A knock can be heard at the door.

Obena: I'll get it. You start the movie.

Nycho nods as Obena opens the door, revealing a woman with black hair in pigtails.

Woman: Nycho, you broke my damn toilet.

She growls.

Nycho: Ah shit, Guadalupe?
'Pasiphae: What's going on?
Nycho: My cousin's in town.
Guadalupe: Oh don't give me that! You're going to help me figure out a place to live for now.

Pasiphae just sits on the couch awkwardly as this unfolds.

Cast

Characters

Transformations Featured

Trivia

  • This story was released on April 18th, Unten Bluzen's birthday.
  • The story originally was not going to include a Nycho subplot, but was added to give weight to Obena's gluten intolerance, which was revealed in this story.
  • Aurora and Fera were originally supposed to appear near the end of the story but were cut.
    • Other guest appearances that would have probably been in the story at some point included Volt, Oliver (Unten's writer friend from Zeon Falling, and Queen Pixella, but all were cut.
  • Pasiphae Lotte was a late addition to the story.
  • Skitti's appearance was meant to be originally a little more detailed and explained that she had found a job at a candy making store. Interestingly, this story scrubs much of her Scratch Kat ties almost entirely, with a throw-away line explaining that Scratch Kat and his friends are back on Ubwerk, the planet created by Scratch Kat in Days of Victory. In essence, they literally went back to their "home planet", which could be a reference to Poochy from the Simpsons.
  • There was originally supposed to be more after credit scenes. One would have featured Nebuel and his group performing a dance number as the stage name "Demented Dimension".
  • Originally Unten's role as a clown would have been more pronounced and seen as a sacrifice in the narrative, but ultimately this ended differently in the final product.
  • Additionally, due to Nycho's subplot not existing, early drafts did not have a defined way for Unten to have dressed up like a clown.
  • Nebuel's group was originally going to have a woman character but this was cut for time.
  • Continuing the trend of stating the names of stories in the narrative, the phrase "Happy Birthday, Unten!" is said by Nebuel with the exclaimation mark, while Sakeena Kamel says it with a period.

References to Other Works

  • Days of Victory - This story has a lot of references specifically to this story-line.
    • Untencakes - Untencakes originally appeared in Fantendo Smash Bros. Victory as a item- here they can be spotted next to the giant cake that Skitti creates.
    • Skitti - Skitti has not been referenced since her debut in Days of Victory and has to be reintroduced to the audience. This appearance seems to scrub her of most of the Scratch Kat references and even writes them out of the ongoing storyline by stating that they went back to that planet, while Skitti decided to live back on Earth.
    • Faria - Faria specifically mentions knowing Nycho and Obena from the time they were arguing over who was going to try and date her- as they both had a crush on her. Faria overheard them and shut them both down. Their interactions here are a bit less rude, although Faria takes a minute before she remembers who Nycho is.
    • Alcyone and FDX-Athens - Alcyone and FDX-Athens begin a relationship in Days of Victory and are mentioned to have gone on an adventure with Unten after descending The Fan and The Enemy during the climax of Days of Victory. This is mentioned as well as the...
    • Mysterious Beorn - During the climax of Days of Victory, Unten refused to descend The Threat as he felt a peaceful solution was still possible. The Fan and The Enemy, tired of him not listening to their orders, instead create their own Beorn after finally managing to figure it out thanks to some blood that Unten left at the base. This Beorn is described as glass-like in appearance and follows the commands of The Fan and The Enemy without questioning them. In this story, Alcyone and Unten briefly mention the Beorn and wonder somewhat rather openly where he is, with Alcyone seemingly sarcastically breaking the fourth wall and suggesting he will play no purpose in "a future story of our lives."
    • Reese and Orithell - Reese and Orithell seem to have a friendly relationship that began with Fantendo Sports Resort. They meet again in Days of Victory. In this story, they are seen together as a couple, suggesting that development may have happened offscreen with them. Reese is also seen transitioning into a woman in this story, continuing a plot thread that is lightly touched upon in Victory about Reese wanting to wear feminine clothes- most of Reese's plot was cut from Victory and would have gone more into them wanting to become a woman.
    • PalmMan/X-Ray/Sarah - These three characters are mentioned as friends that have left the group for one reason or another. PalmMan left the group during Victory due to not feeling like he belonged in the group, as he explained in the ending of Days of Victory, X-Ray has been notably distanced from the group after Leah "died", and Sarah is still mentioned to be in the void that she ended up in Days of Victory. The X-Ray plot thread would later be expanded in Fantendo - Zenith.
    • Mynis - Unten met Mynis officially during the events of Days of Victory when the Other used a mirror to channel into his universe. Mynis would play a somewhat minor role among the other players in the war, but had a heroic moment holding up the entirety of a Kolob that was descending down onto Earth during some of the final scenes of the war.
  • Syande - Waste Your Hate - Since this game, Leah's former hospital is now owned by a woman named Lucille Graves. She is referred not by name by Unten while talking to Reese.
  • A Flash Beorn Our Eyes - Beorn Comics is introduced in this story quickly, and Unten's "death" against Two is mentioned as the reason why they stopped producing his comic, although they did not continue it because it was more lucrative to use "made-up" Beorns as opposed to paying him royalties to his image.
  • Just Like Old Friends - Kiva and her squad briefly appear and their recent meeting with Unten is mentioned. Additionally, Nycho seems to continue his liking of Dragon Ball as a series which was first revealed in this story.

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