#50 Goodnight & Farewell
Hosted By N/A
Eliminated N/A
Challenge N/A
Winner N/A
Writer of Episode Cobweb

This episode is dedicated to the guy who started Fandemonium, Metal Locked (tbc).



I- I can't see... who are you?

I'll be cliched and say "my name is not important."

Figures. Am... am I dead?

No, you are not. Not unless I wish you to be.

Wait, what are you saying?

I could kill you off if I wanted to. I don't, though. I want to show you something...

It had been a while since the Fandemonium debacle. PKB couldn't say that he missed those days, but they had gotten him a lot. He'd become a world-famous reality show star. And he'd found his true love...

PKB smiled. His new human body was useful- he was taller and stronger, and being human made things less awkward, considering that his wife was, for the most part, human.

He thought of Metal Locked v2, whom he'd last seen heading for the basement of the mansion, planning on somehow stopping the giant portal. He couldn't remember exactly what happened next. The weeks that followed were hazy. There had been light all around him. Someone telling him that he'd be paid for his role in the show. But things had been blurry and confusing until, finally, his head cleared and he found himself famous, rich, living in a wonderful beach house... and, somehow, human.

He'd panicked at first. Then he was bewildered. Then, finally, he set off trying to piece together the puzzle of what exactly had happened to him. So far, he'd had little luck- his only lead was a man named Glenn, who had contacted PKB, telling him that he had information on what had really happened at the mansion.

PKB was supposed to meet with Glenn in exactly one week. Until then, though, he had plenty of things to do... like getting some rest. He'd been up all night trying to figure out where he'd heard the name Glenn before...

He lay back on his couch, letting his eyelids droop. Just before he fell asleep, though, the door opened, and his wife, Heart, walked in. "Honey, I'm home..."

Wait, what?

I know, it doesn't make sense to you.

Of course it doesn't. Heart's alive? PKB's a human? What?

Aren't you glad that Heart is alive?

I am, but it doesn't make sense! Are you showing me some kind of alternate future?

Future, yes, though it is rapidly becoming the present, and very soon will be the past. Alternate... well, that depends on your perspective. Let me show you something else. It will probably confuse you even more, but you should see it...

"I'd like to apologize on behalf of my company," the Black Haired Man said on the television screen. "We were not careful enough..."
The real-life Black Haired Man leaned back in his most comfortable chair, watching the playback of his speech: his lies about how much he had known about the Yellow Eyed Man, his lies about what had really happened the night Fandemonium had suddenly, abruptly, and apparently permanently went off the air. No one guessed that he had been just as guilty as the Yellow Eyed Man. No one guessed that a gigantic dimensional portal had been what ended Fandemonium.
All in all, he was quite satisfied with how things had gone. Sunnyscythe had followed his orders, allowing the Yellow Eyed Man to be killed. Because when push came to shove, the Black Haired Man was perfectly willing to kill anyone who stood in his way. And the Yellow Eyed Man, with his nihilism and his ridiculous plots to end the world, definitely stood the the Black Haired Man's way. Why destroy the world, the Black Haired Man thought, when there was so much money that could be made off of it?
At the same time, though, he was always on the lookout for new allies. And, he had to admit as he petted his new friend the Super Hound, he had a weakness for dogs.

You're right, that did confuse me even more. The Super Hound's alive? All of this was a big plot by the Black Haired Man so he could get rid of the Yellow Eyed Man?

Have I convinced you, then?

Convinced me what?

I'm trying to convince you that there's still mysteries to solve, villains to defeat, and friends worth having. I'm trying to convince you not to give up on life.

I haven't given up on life, what are you talking about?

You've been inside the portal for months, Metal Locked v2. It grew so big it finally sank back in on itself, dragging you with it, causing minimal physical damage to the world, but massive damage to the fabric of time and reality itself. Most of your circuitry has been shut down. You're slowly dying, and you won't save yourself.

Months?! I don't know what you're talking about. Anyway, it's comfortable here. I like it here. No worries... at least, not until you came along, whoever you are.

It seems nice, but it isn't. You have more to do in life. You have more to achieve.

Let's say that I agree, that I want to leave. How would I do that? I'm stuck here.

No, you aren't. You divided your data into two bodies, remember? Right now your main consciousness is in MLv3's body, but you can easily change that.

...right... why didn't I remember that...?

Because your memory, your data, is slowly being eaten away at. You're going to die, unless you switch back to your old body soon. The longer you wait, the more data you'll lose. Let me show you one last thing...

Hiro was drunk.
He'd tried to stop drinking once. But that was months ago, and all the months were starting to blur together. These days, he spent most of his time at the bar, drowning his sorrows. Everything had seemed pretty nice, up until that... thing... happened during Fandemonium. What was it? He couldn't remember. A flash of light... or something. But now nobody recognized him. He had once had a kingdom, and now he was trapped in this human body, unable to resume his throne because nobody recognized him.
"I have a kingdom," he informed the man next to him. He was a weird bald guy, thought Hiro, and there was something wrong with his eyes. Hiro recognized the guy from someplace, but he was too drunk to remember.
"Really, now?" inquired the man.
"Yeah. Kingdom an' all an' riches an'... an' all," Hiro babbled.
"Why did you lose it?" the man smiled.
"Cuz... cuz... now I'm all human..." Hiro said.
"Really, now?" the man murmured again.
"Hey..." said Hiro. "Your eyes are yellow..."

Fine. I'll leave the portal. But first you have to tell me who you are.

I'm the one who's helped to guide you. I'm the one who's controlled all the things that have happened to you.

Uh... are you saying you're God?

Me? God? Hardly. I'm a writer. My name is Cobweb. Good luck in your new life. You'll need it.

Metal Locked v2 stood up. He was in the musty, filthy basement, filled with puddles, cracks and bits of machinery.
He climbed the stairs and walked through the kitchen, stepping around the gigantic hole in the floor.
He wandered the abandoned hallways until he found the door. Then he stepped through.

There is a brief pause, then the credits roll, accompanied by Atoms for Peace.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks for reading! It's been fun writing Fandemonium!

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